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Writing Samples /
Band 5

*In the last 20years, there has been significant development in the field of information technology (IT), for example in World wide web and communication by email. However these development in IT are likely to have more negative effects than positive in the future.* *To wat extent do you agree with this view* *Give reasons for your answer and give any example from your own experience or knowledge*

#*in #years #development #field #information #technology #world #web #communication #email #effects #future #*to #wat #view* #*give #knowledge*
Information
Technology
(IT) Plays
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 major role in our life. The
development
 of IT Sectors like
World
Correct article usage
the World
show examples
 Wide Web and Gmail
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 been seeing a
tremandous
Correct your spelling
tremendous
 rise
after
Change preposition
since
show examples
 the 20th century. Though it has some positive effects,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
there are more likely to have negative effects in the future. But I disagree with
this
 statement that the
development
 in the field of
information
technology
 is
disadvantage
Replace the word
disadvantageous
show examples
 in future. For the past two decades, the
development
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 Computer
technology
 has
been
Verb problem
had
show examples
 a positive effect by contributing more
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
 to the country's
development
. The most obvious benefit is that it has helped in the
development
 of the country's
econimical
Correct your spelling
economic
economical
 side by inventing World
wide web
Correct your spelling
Wide Web
show examples
 software that reduces more time and only less office space required.
While
 at the same time, it has motivated
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
most of the young generations to gain more knowledge about
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 and contributes
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 out of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
box results to all the problems.
For
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
 after the Search engines and online communication
has been
Verb problem
apply
show examples
increased more young
proffestionals
Correct your spelling
professionals
 were educated and more Infotec companies were opened.
On the other hand
, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
also
 some negative
impcats
Correct your spelling
impacts
 like getting scammed by ethical hackers that
allows
Correct subject-verb agreement
allow
show examples
 the hacker to steal the personal
information
 of anyone from anywhere.
Eventhough
Correct your spelling
Even though
, it is done
easlily
Correct your spelling
easily
 by
any one
Correct your spelling
anyone
show examples
 who has computer knowledge, still it is easy to identify the hacker and be able to
retrive
Correct your spelling
retrieve
 the
information
safe
Change the word
safely
show examples
 and
secure
Change the word
securely
show examples
.
For example
, in 2004, The IJK company's top secret file was hacked by a hacker when sending
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 confidential email, but later, they retraced him and restored all the
information
, they even fixed the bug to
aviod
Correct your spelling
avoid
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
 of problems in future. In Conclusion, the
information
technolog
Correct your spelling
technology
 has more advantages like
deveping
Correct your spelling
developing
 the
youngsters
Change to a genitive case
youngster's
youngsters'
show examples
 knowledge to think in a
cretave
Correct your spelling
creative
 way when
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to the disadvantages of some problems like hacking.
Therefore
, I disagree with the statement that the significant
development
 in the field of
information
technology
 (IT) is negatively impacting because we
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 seen so many developments after the invention of Computer
technology
 like improved human skills, online communication, and so on.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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Grammatical Accuracy
Improve grammatical accuracy to avoid errors such as "a major role" instead of "an major role," "tremendous rise" instead of "tremandous rise," etc.
Examples & Support
Support your points with more detailed and varied examples to strengthen your argument. For instance, you could include more real-world examples of positive contributions by IT.
Sentence Structure
Pay attention to sentence structure to improve readability. Longer sentences should be broken down into shorter ones to avoid confusion.
Balance of Arguments
Your essay provides a balanced discussion of both positive and negative effects of IT. This shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Structure
A clear introduction and conclusion are present, which enhances the overall coherence of your essay.
Use of Examples
You successfully included some relevant examples to support your points, which strengthens your arguments.

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