Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #person #opportunity

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some

people

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say that being rich is a way

for helping

Change preposition

to help

show examples

others

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.Well,some

people

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agree with

this

Linking Words

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statment

Correct your spelling

statement

and

others

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disagree.I

totaly

Correct your spelling

totally

agree, with

this

Linking Words

Use synonyms

statment

Correct your spelling

statement

because helping

others

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the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

rich

people

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will improve

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

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in general and it's a source of

happenies

Correct your spelling

happiness

for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

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members. On the one

hand

Add a comma

hand,

show examples

people

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who are for

this

Linking Words

Use synonyms

statment

Correct your spelling

statement

have their own reasons.

For example

Linking Words

, they say that helping

others

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will improve

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

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in general because one way of helping

others

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it's

Verb problem

show examples

give

Change the verb form

giving

show examples

them jobs

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

that can help them

Verb problem

apply

show examples

provide

their

Change preposition

for their

show examples

needs.Another example is that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

it will not only improve

the

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apply

show examples

society

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in general but

also

Linking Words

it can end the

poverity

Correct your spelling

poverty

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apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

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and

as a result

Linking Words

that

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

people

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will be happier.

On the other

Linking Words

hand

Add a comma

hand,

show examples

people

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who disagree with

this

Linking Words

Use synonyms

statment

Correct your spelling

statement

have their

won

Correct your spelling

own

show examples

reasons.First of all, they reckon being rich is something you work hard to earn

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apply

show examples

so they say it's not rich

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people

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people's

show examples

duity

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duty

to help

others

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Moreover

Linking Words

,they believe that helping

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others

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

rich

people

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will lead to

alot

Correct your spelling

a lot

of problems

such

Linking Words

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

some

people

Use synonyms

will stop working hard because they will get help from

Correct article usage

the richs

show examples

richs

Correct your spelling

rich

riches

To conclude

Linking Words

we can say that, being rich

it's

Verb problem

show examples

a good way of helping

others

Use synonyms

and

improve

Wrong verb form

improving

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

,it

also

Linking Words

can have

alot

Correct your spelling

a lot

of drawbacks which can affect

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

Use synonyms

Submitted by yousefreyad55 on Tue Jul 23 2024

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task achievement

To improve your Task Achievement score, you need to provide more relevant and specific examples to support your points. This will help in making your argument more convincing.

coherence cohesion

For Coherence and Cohesion, focus on organizing your ideas more logically. Consider using clearer transitions between your paragraphs and make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea.

introduction conclusion

Ensure that your introduction and conclusion more clearly align with the arguments you are making in the body. This helps to create a more cohesive essay.

task achievement

Your essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument, which demonstrates an understanding of the complexity of the issue.

coherence cohesion

Including both supporting and counter-arguments helps to create a more balanced essay.

introduction conclusion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your essay well.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
39
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

224 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

wealthy
financial resources
philanthropy
charitable organizations
donations
fundraising
support
initiatives
contribute
fulfillment
purpose
selfless
altruistic
prioritize
personal gain

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Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people think that employers should not care about the way their employees dress, because what matters is the quality of their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

International tourism is now more common than ever before. Some feel that this is a positive trend, while others do not. what are your opinion on this?

Some people think it would be a good idea for school to teach every young person how to be a good parent. Do you agree or disagree with this option ? Describe the skill a person needs to be a good parent.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think children should have the freedom to make mistakes, while other people believe that adults should prevent children from making mistakes.’ Discuss both sides and give your opinion.