Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #person #opportunity

some

people

say that being rich is a way

for helping

Change preposition

to help

show examples

others

.Well,some

people

agree with

this

statment

Correct your spelling

statement

and

others

disagree.I

totaly

Correct your spelling

totally

agree, with

this

statment

Correct your spelling

statement

because helping

others

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

rich

people

will improve

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

in general and it's a source of

happenies

Correct your spelling

happiness

for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

members. On the one

hand

Add a comma

hand,

show examples

people

who are for

this

statment

Correct your spelling

statement

have their own reasons.

For example

, they say that helping

others

will improve

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

in general because one way of helping

others

it's

Verb problem

show examples

give

Change the verb form

giving

show examples

them jobs

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

that can help them

Verb problem

apply

show examples

provide

their

Change preposition

for their

show examples

needs.Another example is that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

it will not only improve

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

in general but

also

it can end the

poverity

Correct your spelling

poverty

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

and

as a result

that

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

people

will be happier.

On the other

hand

Add a comma

hand,

show examples

people

who disagree with

this

statment

Correct your spelling

statement

have their

won

Correct your spelling

own

show examples

reasons.First of all, they reckon being rich is something you work hard to earn

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

so they say it's not rich

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

duity

Correct your spelling

duty

to help

others

Moreover

,they believe that helping

others

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

rich

people

will lead to

alot

Correct your spelling

a lot

of problems

such

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

some

people

will stop working hard because they will get help from

Correct article usage

the richs

show examples

richs

Correct your spelling

rich

riches

To conclude

we can say that, being rich

it's

Verb problem

show examples

a good way of helping

others

and

improve

Wrong verb form

improving

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

However

,it

also

can have

alot

Correct your spelling

a lot

of drawbacks which can affect

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

Submitted by yousefreyad55 on Tue Jul 23 2024

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task achievement

To improve your Task Achievement score, you need to provide more relevant and specific examples to support your points. This will help in making your argument more convincing.

coherence cohesion

For Coherence and Cohesion, focus on organizing your ideas more logically. Consider using clearer transitions between your paragraphs and make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea.

introduction conclusion

Ensure that your introduction and conclusion more clearly align with the arguments you are making in the body. This helps to create a more cohesive essay.

task achievement

Your essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument, which demonstrates an understanding of the complexity of the issue.

coherence cohesion

Including both supporting and counter-arguments helps to create a more balanced essay.

introduction conclusion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your essay well.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
39Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

224 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

wealthy
financial resources
philanthropy
charitable organizations
donations
fundraising
support
initiatives
contribute
fulfillment
purpose
selfless
altruistic
prioritize
personal gain

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Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people say that increasing price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that professionals such as doctors and engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries, students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?