IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Parents should spend more time with their children helping them with their homework. Do you agree or disagree?

#parents #time #children #homework
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It's important,
however
, to recognize potential
downsides
such
 as the
risk
 of
parents
 doing too much of the
work
,
thus
 hindering the
child
's
ability
 to learn
autonomouslyIt
's important,
however
, to recognize potential
downsides
such
 as the
risk
 of
parents
 doing too much of the
work
,
thus
 hindering the
child
's
ability
 to learn
autonomouslyIt
's important,
however
, to recognize potential
downsides
such
 as the
risk
 of
parents
 doing too much of the
work
,
thus
 hindering the
child
's
ability
 to learn
autonomouslyIt
's important,
however
, to recognize potential
downsides
such
 as the
risk
 of
parents
 doing too much of the
work
,
thus
 hindering the
child
's
ability
 to learn
autonomouslyIt
's important,
however
, to recognize potential
downsides
such
 as the
risk
 of
parents
 doing too much of the
work
,
thus
 hindering the
child
's
ability
 to learn
autonomouslyIt
's important,
however
, to recognize potential
downsides
such
 as the
risk
 of
parents
 doing too much of the
work
,
thus
 hindering the
child
's
ability
 to learn
autonomouslyIt
's important,
however
, to recognize potential
downsides
such
 as the
risk
 of
parents
 doing too much of the
work
,
thus
 hindering the
child
's
ability
 to learn
autonomouslyIt
's important,
however
, to recognize potential
downsides
such
 as the
risk
 of
parents
 doing too much of the
work
,
thus
 hindering the
child
's
ability
 to learn
autonomouslyIt
's important,
however
, to recognize potential
downsides
such
 as the
risk
 of
parents
 doing too much of the
work
,
thus
 hindering the
child
's
ability
 to learn
autonomouslyIt
's important,
however
, to recognize potential
downsides
such
 as the
risk
 of
parents
 doing too much of the
work
,
thus
 hindering the
child
's
ability
 to learn autonomously
Submitted by khoulaalshanfari on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your essay presents a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This will help in logically structuring your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Avoid repetitive sentences or ideas. Each paragraph should present new points that support or elaborate on your main argument.
Task Achievement
Address the prompt completely by clearly stating your opinion and supporting it with relevant examples and arguments.
Task Achievement
Develop your ideas more comprehensively. Go beyond merely stating potential downsides; also suggest how these could be managed.
Task Achievement
The sentence identifies a potential downside of parents helping too much with homework, indicating an understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • parental involvement
  • academic development
  • parent-child relationship
  • supported and encouraged
  • confidence and independence
  • educational strategies
  • autonomous learning
  • foster a love for learning
  • tailored interventions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: