IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Being able to speak a foreign language is an advantage these days. Some people think that children should start learning a foreign language at primary school, while others think children should begin in secondary school. Discuss both sides and give your opinio

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With
Add an article
the advancement

The noun phrase advancement seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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advancement
Fix the agreement mistake
advancements

It seems that advancement may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 in technology, the education system has
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 revolutionised which eventually has changed the demands of
job
Add an article
the job

The noun phrase job market seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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 market as well. Knowing more than
one
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.
language
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 for communication is always good. Some people are of the opinion that new languages should be introduced earlier
whereas
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 others believe that
it
Correct pronoun usage
they

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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 should be taught in secondary classes.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 essay will discuss both sides and
then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 give
opinion
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an opinion

The noun phrase opinion seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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. Introducing an idea or concept early always has its advantages.
Similarly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, adding any
one
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 foreign
language
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.
in
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 their daily life will make it easier for young kids to internalise the lingo. Research has shown that learning any
language
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 at a younger age a actually easier for students, versus waiting until high school. In
majority
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the majority

The noun phrase majority seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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 of the South Asian households, 85
percent
Change the spelling
per cent

The spelling of percent is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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 of them have a mother tongue than the official
language
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 of the country. It could be Punjabi, Sindhi or
Gujrati
Correct your spelling
Gujarati

If you don’t want Gujrati to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

. They would not know how to write the script of it, but verbally every child is fluent. On the other side, getting to know a
language
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 at
secondary
Correct article usage
a secondary

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 level means
one
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 has made a conscious decision
of learning
Change preposition
to learn

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 it. Learning a
second,
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

third or even
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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fourth
language
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 not only expands your mind , but it sets the pace for a better lifestyle.
One
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 could
scrore
Correct your spelling
score

If you don’t want scrore to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

a meaningful position in the workplace, get
inntothe
Correct your spelling
into the

If you don’t want inntothe to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

college of your dreams,
connect
Correct word choice
and connect

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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 with people abroad among other things. Studies show that there are many cognitive benefits of learning a new
language
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as increased memory,
stringer
Correct your spelling
stronger

The word stringer doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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 mental agility and improved multitasking skills. In conclusion, learning new languages has only pros in all facets of life. The decision of when to learn can vary from
one
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 person to another. In my opinion,
earlier
Correct article usage
the earlier

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 the start, the better it is for
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

one self
Correct your spelling
oneself

The word one self seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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.

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grammar
Ensure precise grammar and spelling throughout the essay to avoid small inaccuracies (e.g., 'a actually' instead of 'is actually,' 'Gujrati' instead of 'Gujarati,' 'scrore' instead of 'score,' 'inntothe' instead of 'into the').
example
Support your arguments with more precise and detailed examples to strengthen your points and make them more convincing (e.g., specific benefits of learning languages early in primary school).
argument
Make sure to fully explore the disadvantages or counter-arguments to provide a balanced discussion. This will help in presenting a more comprehensive analysis.
organization
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively frame the discussion.
organization
The main points are logically structured and discussed on both sides of the argument.
content
The essay provides clear reasoning and explanations for the benefits of learning a foreign language at different stages of education.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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