Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.
The high cost of modern
drug
treatment means people
in poorer countries
are frequently unable to benefit from it. I would argue that drug
companies
have a moral obligation to make their products available at lower cost to developing countries
and, what’s more, that rich governments and people
can help.
Over the last
few decades
there was a dramatic improvement in medicine that changed the treatment of many Add a comma
decades,
life threatening
diseases. Add a hyphen
life-threatening
Drug
companies
make money by treatment
these diseases. Replace the word
treating
However
, the fact that people
in poor countries
are unable to pay for these treatments has created a very unequal situation.
I think that drug
companies
have a responsibility to be more ethical and that they have a responsibility for addressing
Change preposition
to address
this
inequality. They can do this
by offering cheaper medicines in countries
that cannot afford to pay the full price. This
means that everyone can get the drugs that they need.
However
, I also
believe that there are others who have a role to play in giving poor people
access to drugs. For example
, richer people
could be encouraged to donate to charities to help developing countries
. An example of this
was seen recently when Bill Gates spent a lot of money and set up immunising projects in Africa.
In conclusion
I would argue that it is immoral for Add a comma
conclusion,
people
to die because of inequality, Access to medicine should be universal and it is
should be the responsibility of the richer Unnecessary verb
apply
companies
, individuals and governments to ensure that this
is happening.Submitted by fabiocasero on
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grammar
Ensure grammatical accuracy throughout your essay to avoid small mistakes that might hinder understanding.
task response
Be sure to expand on how rich governments and individuals specifically can contribute to making medicine more accessible.
coherence cohesion
Make transitions between paragraphs more explicit to enhance the logical flow of your essay.
task response
You have presented a clear argument concerning the moral obligations of drug companies and the role of richer individuals and governments.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both well-structured, providing a coherent start and end to your essay.
task response
The use of examples, such as Bill Gates’ donation, effectively supports your main points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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