Older generation often hold some traditional ideas on the correct way of life, thoughts and behavior. Most people argue that it is not helpful for younger generations to prepare for modern life. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

There is a trend for
vast
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the vast
show examples
majority of
people
to hold an opinion that the previous generation usually
have ultra
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
traditional thinking about how
people
should live and behave.
However
, other
people
think that these ideas are not so useful to prepare new
generations
for modern life.
This
essay completely agrees with that statement, because old and young
generations
lived in different
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
with completely another
mentality
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mentalities
show examples
.
Moreover
, over time, in our
world
Add a comma
world,
show examples
there are changes in some rules that old
generations
do not recognize. First and foremost,
old
Correct article usage
the old
show examples
generations’
Change noun form
generation’s
show examples
mentality
completely
Add a missing verb
is completely
show examples
different from new
generations
Fix the agreement mistake
generation
show examples
, and their beliefs about the world nowadays are not so relevant.
In other words
, things that were normal
while
our parents or grandparents grew,
in
Change preposition
up in
show examples
21st
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the 21st
show examples
century are not normal or legal.
For instance
, in
previous
Correct article usage
the previous
show examples
century
people
had different
approach
Fix the agreement mistake
approaches
show examples
to taking
exams
, and all
exams
were taken on paper-based
variant
Fix the agreement mistake
variants
show examples
.
However
, in 2024 students have an opportunity to take
SAT
Correct article usage
the SAT
show examples
or IELST
exams
on laptops without any paper,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
has
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
effect on our ecology.
In addition
, over time there are global updates in the rules, that every country should accept and introduce.
With
Change preposition
In
show examples
different
Correct word choice
other
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words, some
action
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actions
show examples
that were allowed 60-70 years ago,
nowadays
Add a missing verb
are nowadays
show examples
prohibited and in most
of
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apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countries
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countries,
show examples
there are some fines for
braking
Correct your spelling
breaking
show examples
new rules.
For example
, in
1960s
Correct article usage
the 1960s
show examples
smoking everywhere was normal,
people
could smoke even in public transport, restaurants and
while
doing their jobs. Today in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most places smoking
do
Verb problem
is
show examples
not allowed, and
for example
in Kazakhstan for smoking in public areas you must pay
fine
Correct article usage
a fine
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
5000 tenge. In conclusion, most traditional thoughts and beliefs usually contradict
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
modern realities. Changes in technology and social norms,
such
as smoking and taking digital
exams
adds
Change the verb form
add
show examples
more confluence that we need for adapting
Correct your spelling
outdated
show examples
outdates
Correct your spelling
outdated
show examples
beliefs
Submitted by zerdeteacher2024 on

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coherence cohesion
While your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion, some transitions between sentences and ideas could be smoother. Try using more linking words or phrases to enhance the flow from one point to the next.
task achievement
You have addressed the essay prompt effectively, and your main points are well-reasoned and relevant. Nonetheless, try to diversify the vocabulary used and avoid repetition for a more polished response.
task achievement
Be cautious with grammatical errors and typos as they can sometimes detract from the overall clarity. Simple proofreading can enhance the readability of your essay.
task achievement
Your essay presents a comprehensive response to the prompt, covering the aspects of technological advances and changes in social norms.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples such as the transition from paper-based exams to digital formats and the change in smoking regulations, which effectively illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is clear, with distinct paragraphs for each major point, making it easy to follow your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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