Older generation often hold some traditional ideas on the correct way of life, thoughts and behavior. Most people argue that it is not helpful for younger generations to prepare for modern life. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
There is a trend for
vast
majority of Add an article
the vast
people
to hold an opinion that the previous generation usually have ultra
traditional thinking about how Wrong verb form
has
people
should live and behave. However
, other people
think that these ideas are not so useful to prepare new generations
for modern life. This
essay completely agrees with that statement, because old and young generations
lived in different time
with completely another Fix the agreement mistake
times
mentality
. Fix the agreement mistake
mentalities
Moreover
, over time, in our world
there are changes in some rules that old Add a comma
world,
generations
do not recognize.
First and foremost, old
Correct article usage
the old
generations’
mentality Change noun form
generation’s
completely
different from new Add a missing verb
is completely
generations
, and their beliefs about the world nowadays are not so relevant. Fix the agreement mistake
generation
In other words
, things that were normal while
our parents or grandparents grew, in
Change preposition
up in
21st
century are not normal or legal. Change the article
the 21st
For instance
, in previous
century Correct article usage
the previous
people
had different approach
to taking Fix the agreement mistake
approaches
exams
, and all exams
were taken on paper-based variant
. Fix the agreement mistake
variants
However
, in 2024 students have an opportunity to take SAT
or IELST Correct article usage
the SAT
exams
on laptops without any paper, that
has Correct pronoun usage
which
positive
effect on our ecology.
Add an article
a positive
In addition
, over time there are global updates in the rules, that every country should accept and introduce. With
Change preposition
In
different
words, some Correct word choice
other
action
that were allowed 60-70 years ago, Fix the agreement mistake
actions
nowadays
prohibited and in most Add a missing verb
are nowadays
of
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
countries
there are some fines for Add a comma
countries,
braking
new rules. Correct your spelling
breaking
For example
, in 1960s
smoking everywhere was normal, Correct article usage
the 1960s
people
could smoke even in public transport, restaurants and while
doing their jobs. Today in the
most places smoking Correct article usage
apply
do
not allowed, and Verb problem
is
for example
in Kazakhstan for smoking in public areas you must pay fine
Correct article usage
a fine
for
5000 tenge.
In conclusion, most traditional thoughts and beliefs usually contradict Change preposition
of
with
modern realities. Changes in technology and social norms, Change preposition
apply
such
as smoking and taking digital exams
adds
more confluence that we need for adapting Change the verb form
add
Correct your spelling
outdated
outdates
beliefsCorrect your spelling
outdated
Submitted by zerdeteacher2024 on
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coherence cohesion
While your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion, some transitions between sentences and ideas could be smoother. Try using more linking words or phrases to enhance the flow from one point to the next.
task achievement
You have addressed the essay prompt effectively, and your main points are well-reasoned and relevant. Nonetheless, try to diversify the vocabulary used and avoid repetition for a more polished response.
task achievement
Be cautious with grammatical errors and typos as they can sometimes detract from the overall clarity. Simple proofreading can enhance the readability of your essay.
task achievement
Your essay presents a comprehensive response to the prompt, covering the aspects of technological advances and changes in social norms.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples such as the transition from paper-based exams to digital formats and the change in smoking regulations, which effectively illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is clear, with distinct paragraphs for each major point, making it easy to follow your arguments.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?