IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many parts of the world, there is not enough food for everyone. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

#parts #world #food
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In these
Change preposition
These
show examples
 days,
most
Change preposition
in most
show examples
 of the world everyone does not have enough
food
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
others
Use synonyms
 keep
diet
Correct pronoun usage
their diet
show examples
 to be on form.
This
Linking Words
 essay will introduce what are causes for
tham
Correct your spelling
them
 and how can we solve
this
Linking Words
 problem in
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
 world. Generally, most of the
populations
Fix the agreement mistake
population
show examples
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
suffer from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hungerness
while
Linking Words
 are so many reasons for
them
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
. 
Firstly
Linking Words
 sharing is the most important
couse
Correct your spelling
cause
course
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the hungerness. Today some of the
peope
Correct your spelling
people
 get too much than
others
Use synonyms
 so
others
Use synonyms
 are little
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 it is hard to explain
adn
Correct your spelling
and
 find solutions for them. Our
most
Correct word choice
biggest
show examples
 problem
when
Add a missing verb
is when
show examples
 we are getting
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 or products so our heart is to be ready to share who
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
show examples
 not have.
People
Use synonyms
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
 not not to share who lives really far from them. Looking carefully around us will be helpful to find those
people
Use synonyms
.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 most of the
people
Use synonyms
 go to the
Hecc
Correct your spelling
HECC
show examples
 and
donait
Correct your spelling
donate
 lot of money for them
instead
Linking Words
 of
go
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
 there
give
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
 the money who
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 poor in your
counr
Correct your spelling
country
 or so many children are dying from
hungernes
Correct your spelling
hunger
 in Somalia. To solve
this
Linking Words
 problem the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 should make special programs in their country
gow
Correct your spelling
that
 can
reduse
Correct your spelling
reduce
 these problems.
Who
Correct pronoun usage
Those who
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 huge
budget
Fix the agreement mistake
budgets
show examples
 for living
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
should take
soem
Correct your spelling
some
 family and
sponsor
Fix the agreement mistake
sponsors
show examples
 for their life specially for
food
Use synonyms
 and daily
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
.
Linking Words
Otherwise
Add a comma
Otherwise,
show examples
 we would observe unjustise prosses in
modern
Add an article
a modern
the modern
show examples
 and smart world.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 has to have
speacial
Correct your spelling
special
 promont for those
people
Use synonyms
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
like
gave
Change the form of the verb
giving
show examples
 them free
food
Use synonyms
 or
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
 them with
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
 where they can plant and feed their children.
For instance
Linking Words
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Azerbaijan has
special
Add an article
a special
show examples
 program for poor
people
Use synonyms
 especially
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
has
Verb problem
do
show examples
 not any
apportnuity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
. The
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 gave them free land and provided them with
seed
Fix the agreement mistake
seeds
show examples
. It
effected
Correct your spelling
affected
show examples
 to
reduce
Replace the word
reduction
show examples
 employes in Azerbaijan. All in all
Add a comma
,
show examples
there are so many reasons for not enough
food
Use synonyms
 for
eveyone
Correct your spelling
everyone
 and there are so many solutions for it too. Surely we have to want it. Mainly to think about
others
Use synonyms
 who
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 and give them only 1 % of
Use synonyms
food
Correct pronoun usage
their food
show examples
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a good overall structure, but the ideas are not always clearly expressed. Consider using more linking words and phrases to help the reader follow your arguments.
Task Achievement
Ensure that you read your essay carefully to check for spelling and grammatical errors. This will help improve the clarity of your points.
Task Achievement
Try to provide more detailed and relevant examples to support your arguments. This will make your essay more convincing and engaging.
Task Achievement
You have made a good attempt to address the problem of food scarcity and have suggested some solutions.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and provide a good framework for the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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