Around the world, rural people are moving to cities and urban areas, so populations in the countryside are decreasing. Is this a positive or negative development?

#world #people #cities #areas #populations #countryside #development

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Nowadays, rural dwellers are moving to

metropolis

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metropolises

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and cities,

thus

inhabitant

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inhabitants

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village

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villages

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are not increasing. In my opinion, moving to urban areas

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

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not the best way. Mostly, some

people

are moving

form

Correct your spelling

from

show examples

Correct article usage

the countrysides

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countrysides

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countryside

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This

very

Add an article

a very

show examples

well

Correct word choice

good

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choice, which can make money easily.

This

is because there are

lot

Change the article

a lot

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of factories, offices and other places

for

Change preposition

show examples

earn money.

Also

Add a comma

Also,

show examples

city

dwellersʼ

Change noun form

dwellersʼ'

show examples

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

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not

difficult

Rephrase

as difficult

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though

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

villagers. So everyone

able

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is able

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to find good works out of trouble.

However

, moving is making

rural

Correct article usage

the rural

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economy

can be decreasing

Wrong verb form

decrease

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. Many

people

live in urban areas and towns. In the villages, economics is not increasing

due to

leaving.

As a result

population

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the population

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will encounter

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apply

show examples

foodstuff deficiency.

Moreover

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Moreover,

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they will face

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apply

show examples

different illnesses. In my view, rural

people

must stop moving, because it is

also

significant. If they leave their countryside, economic growth will

be become

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become

have become

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slow. And

this

is cause for prices increasing among

Change preposition

apply

show examples

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

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Also

Add a comma

Also,

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people

are decreasing

Verb problem

apply

show examples

who

Wrong verb form

are

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busy with plants in rural areas. In

this

context, importing food can not be better than past.

Furthermore

this

event makes

financial

Correct article usage

the financial

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economy

has

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

lack. In conclusion, cities are the best

place

Fix the agreement mistake

places

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

live, even though it has

not

Correct your spelling

show examples

spice for planting. Yet, rural places are more important

during bring

Change preposition

in bringing

show examples

up meal

product

Fix the agreement mistake

products

show examples

Therefore

, everyone should live

Change preposition

apply

show examples

where born.

Submitted by omondavlat91 on Tue Jul 23 2024

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Grammar

Ensure all sentences are complete and grammatically correct. There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that affect the clarity of the essay.

Task Response

Develop your points with more specific examples and evidence. For instance, explain how the movement of rural dwellers affects the local economy in more detail.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use linking words and phrases to help the reader follow your argument more easily. For instance, 'Furthermore,' 'In addition,' and 'However,' are good transitions, but make sure they are used accurately.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is good for coherence and cohesion.

Task Response

The writer attempts to provide reasons and explanations for their viewpoints, which is good for task achievement.

Task Response

The topic is fully addressed, and there is a clear opinion stated, which is essential for task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
38
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

223 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Urbanization
Amenities
Economic prospects
Overcrowding
Traffic congestion
Pollution
Agricultural abandonment
Cultural diversity
Innovation
Cultural heritage
Family ties
Infrastructure
Public services
Sustainable urban planning
Rural revitalization

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Around the world, rural people are moving to cities and urban areas, so populations in the countryside are decreasing. Is this a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 percent female. So, some people suggest that companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree ?

Nowadays we are producing more and more rubbish. Why do you think this is happening? What can governments do to help reduce the amount of rubbish produced?

Nowadays, stress-related illnesses are becoming increasingly common. What do you think is the cause of this? What solution can you suggest?

In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of gibing children this message?