Around the world, rural people are moving to cities and urban areas, so populations in the countryside are decreasing. Is this a positive or negative development?
Nowadays, rural dwellers are moving to
metropolis
and cities, Correct your spelling
metropolises
thus
inhabitant
in Fix the agreement mistake
inhabitants
village
are not increasing. In my opinion, moving to urban areas Fix the agreement mistake
villages
are
not the best way.
Mostly, some Correct subject-verb agreement
is
people
are moving form
Correct your spelling
from
Correct article usage
the countrysides
countrysides
. Fix the agreement mistake
countryside
This
is very
Add an article
a very
well
choice, which can make money easily. Correct word choice
good
This
is because there are lot
of factories, offices and other places Change the article
a lot
for
earn money. Change preposition
to
Also
city Add a comma
Also,
dwellersʼ
Change noun form
dwellersʼ'
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
is
not Correct subject-verb agreement
are
difficult
as Rephrase
as difficult
though
villagers. So everyone Correct word choice
apply
able
to find good works out of trouble.
Add a missing verb
is able
However
, moving is making rural
economy Correct article usage
the rural
can be decreasing
. Many Wrong verb form
decrease
people
live in urban areas and towns. In the villages, economics is not increasing due to
leaving. As a result
, population
will encounter Add an article
the population
to
foodstuff deficiency. Change preposition
apply
Moreover
they will face Add a comma
Moreover,
to
different illnesses.
In my view, rural Change preposition
apply
people
must stop moving, because it is also
significant. If they leave their countryside, economic growth will be become
slow. And Change to the active voice
become
have become
this
is cause for prices increasing among to
Change preposition
apply
human
. Fix the agreement mistake
humans
Also
Add a comma
Also,
people
are decreasing
who Verb problem
apply
be
busy with plants in rural areas. In Wrong verb form
are
this
context, importing food can not be better than past. Furthermore
, this
event makes financial
economy Correct article usage
the financial
has
lack.
In conclusion, cities are the best Unnecessary verb
apply
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
for
live, even though it has Change preposition
to
not
spice for planting. Yet, rural places are more important Correct your spelling
no
during bring
up meal Change preposition
in bringing
product
. Fix the agreement mistake
products
Therefore
, everyone should live in
where born.Change preposition
apply
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Grammar
Ensure all sentences are complete and grammatically correct. There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that affect the clarity of the essay.
Task Response
Develop your points with more specific examples and evidence. For instance, explain how the movement of rural dwellers affects the local economy in more detail.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to help the reader follow your argument more easily. For instance, 'Furthermore,' 'In addition,' and 'However,' are good transitions, but make sure they are used accurately.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is good for coherence and cohesion.
Task Response
The writer attempts to provide reasons and explanations for their viewpoints, which is good for task achievement.
Task Response
The topic is fully addressed, and there is a clear opinion stated, which is essential for task achievement.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.