Many people today are worried about cybercrime chess hacking and identity theft. What problems does cybercrime cause, and what solutions can you suggest for ordinary people and business to take?

First of all,
cybercrime
comes from networks. The
network
provides other's
identity
for ourselves.
This
identity
is different
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
our real
identity
.
People
think
network
identity
is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
protection which
is
Verb problem
means
show examples
others will not know their real
identity
.
Therefore
,
people
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
some unacceptable actions.
For instance
, lied
other's
Change preposition
about other's
show examples
money
, lie
people
Change preposition
about people
show examples
send
Wrong verb form
sending
show examples
sex photos and force them
paying
Change the verb form
to pay
show examples
money
to delete photos. The cause of
cybercrime
is autonomy.
Cybercrime
is
lasting
Correct article usage
a lasting
show examples
and stable
sources
Fix the agreement mistake
source
show examples
of
money
if they are successful. Many
cybercrime
's suffers are paying a lot of
money
such
as 1 to 10 billion.
Therefore
,
It is
Verb problem
it
show examples
attracted
Wrong verb form
attracts
show examples
money
for
people
taking a huge risk to
do
Verb problem
commit
show examples
a
cybercrime
. They only do one
cybercrime
,
money
Correct word choice
and money
show examples
maybe is
Wrong verb form
may
show examples
them to do a
half of year
Correct your spelling
half-year
show examples
salary. It is a wrong
values
Change the noun form
value
show examples
but many
people
want to earn
money
fast. In my suggestion, I think
people
do not believe anyone on the
network
easily. As you and the online friend have not
dating
Change the verb form
dated
show examples
in
real
Add an article
the real
show examples
world. You don't know online
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
anything.
For example
, face, personality and career.
Therefore
,
online
Add an article
an online
the online
show examples
friend may
is
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
wrong. raising awareness on the
network
.
Submitted by oeil4399 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Clarify ideas and ensure your argument comes across clearly. For example, specify how cybercrime impacts people practically and emotionally.
coherence cohesion
Improve paragraph connections and ensure that ideas flow logically. Use transition words to guide the reader.
coherence cohesion
A strong introduction and conclusion can help reinforce your main points and tie your essay together effectively.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing cybercrime causes and suggesting solutions, meeting the basic requirements for task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The essay attempts to structure arguments in several paragraphs and introduces examples and explanations.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: