The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the percentage of greenhouse gas emissions that result from this energy use

#first #energy #australian #household #second #percentage #greenhouse #gas #emissions

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The two pie diagrams

gives

Change the verb form

give

show examples

information about the average energy usage of an Australian household, and the proportion of greenhouse gas emitted.

Overall

Linking Words

, we observe that

that

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

maximum amount of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

electricity is consumed for heating

purpose

Fix the agreement mistake

purposes

show examples

Conversely

Linking Words

, the percentage for cooling

purpose

Fix the agreement mistake

purposes

show examples

is the lowest.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the harmful gases that are emitted by water heaters

Change the verb form

are

show examples

very significantly high compared to refrigerators. On closer

examintaion

Correct your spelling

examination

, it can be seen that, out of 100 units of energy, 42 units

Change the verb form

are

show examples

utilized for heating the house, and 30 units by water heater.

However

Linking Words

, only 9%

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

this

Linking Words

was used by cooling devices, of which 7% was alone consumed by

fridge

Fix the agreement mistake

fridges

show examples

. Out of 100

liters

Change the spelling

litres

show examples

green house

Correct your spelling

greenhouse

show examples

gases liberated, 32

liters

Change the spelling

litres

show examples

was

Correct subject-verb agreement

were

show examples

from electric water heaters,

Correct word choice

and 3

show examples

liters

Change the spelling

litres

show examples

was

Correct subject-verb agreement

were

show examples

from Air conditioners.

In addition

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

8% was from light bulbs, and 14% from

therefrigeration

Correct your spelling

the refrigeration

refrigeration

process.

Submitted by yashaswikhot on Tue Jul 23 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

▼

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

▼

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

146 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching younger children) To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Certain individuals argue that non-profit socially beneficial activities should be made mandatory in school education. I completely agree with this statement. This essay will explain with reasons and examples for my opinion.
7
band
Some people think that competitive sports have positive effects on teenager education, while others argue that effect is negative. Discuss both view and give your opinion.
people have differing views about competitive sports, some of them find it affects positively, and in other ways some people find it has negative effects on adolescents. In my view, I believe that the competition in sports can be beneficial for the education of children athletically.
7
band
In many countries, people are now living longer than before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Others people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extend do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
Constantly increasing life expectancy has become a hotly debated issue nowadays. While some people believe that more elderly population in our society can lead to additional challenges that the government should tackle, others see this change as a great opportunity, that can benefit our society. In this essay, I will argue that the advantages of an increase in the ageing population can outweigh the disadvantages, if companies adopt the working environment and recognize the pensioners as a new market share with great potential.
4.5
band
Details of politicians’ private lives should not be published in newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
These days, an increasing number of reporters are interested in sharing personal pictures of politicians' private life in order to be noticed and get paid for it. I truly believe, that these actions need to be punished and prohibited as they disturb the lives of people from the government.
<4
band
It is true that the question of whether to divide opinions regarding the budget allocation of the educational sector or allocate a high proportion of the budget to purchasing laptops and tablets remains a source of controversy in the field. I would argue that both of these aspects are crucial for enhancing education, so equal funding should be given. I will outline the reasons for this in this essay
It is true that the question of whether to divide opinions regarding the budget allocation of the educational sector or allocate a high proportion of the budget to purchasing laptops and tablets remains a source of controversy in the field. I would argue that both of these aspects are crucial for enhancing education, so equal funding should be given. I will outline the reasons for this in this essay

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the percentage of greenhouse gas emissions that result from this energy use

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching younger children) To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that competitive sports have positive effects on teenager education, while others argue that effect is negative. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

In many countries, people are now living longer than before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Others people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extend do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

Details of politicians’ private lives should not be published in newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?