IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #person #opportunity
Many
family
Change to a plural noun
families
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 believe that having lots of money will give you the chance to help poor
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
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.In my view being rich is not everything or not a reason to be able to do good things.
However
, in
this
 essay, I will be explaining. Why I disagree with
this
 opinion.
Firstly
, we don't need to be super rich to do good things for
community
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the community
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.
Moreover
,
crowd
Fix the agreement mistake
crowds
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 with low salaries can do the Same thing with aut affecting themselves.
For example
, they Can save at least 2% of their own money for charity things. Doing that will make them safe and feel good because they did something positive to save other folk and themselves.
Secondly
, helping others will affect your life in a better way. Your life will be easy and more flexible
Also
, every single thing will improve as you want.
For example
, when you help someone even with a small amount of money that directly reflects on your feelings and you will be happy with them. In conclusion,
nation
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a nation
the nation
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 can do everything positively or negatively even if they have less salary than others that will not stop them from doing what they want. So not being rich is not a big deal for most
crowd
Fix the agreement mistake
crowds
show examples
.
Submitted by khoulaalshanfari on

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task achievement
Ensure to have clear topic sentences for each paragraph that directly answer the task prompt. This will help in achieving a complete response and clear comprehensive ideas.
task achievement
Enhance the support for main points with relevant and specific examples. Vague or generalized statements can weaken the argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve logical structure by ensuring that ideas flow smoothly between sentences and paragraphs. This can be achieved by using transitional phrases and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear purpose linked to the prompt.
coherence cohesion
The essay has an introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing the arguments effectively.
task achievement
The essay attempts to provide a complete response to the prompt by addressing the idea that being rich isn’t necessary for doing good deeds.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • wealthy
  • financial resources
  • philanthropy
  • charitable organizations
  • donations
  • fundraising
  • support
  • initiatives
  • contribute
  • fulfillment
  • purpose
  • selfless
  • altruistic
  • prioritize
  • personal gain
What to do next:
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