Some governments say how many children a family can hare in their country. They may control the number of children someone has through taxes. It is sometimes necessary and right for a government to control the population in this way. Do you agree or disagree?
Some development of their country.
countries
in the world have a higher number
of people and in other countries
is not the same case because governments say how many children
a family can hare
in their country. They may control the Correct your spelling
have
number
of children
someone has through taxes. some people suppose that It is sometimes necessary and right for a government
to control the population in this
way. In my opinion, it is a necessary action from the government
for some reasons.
Firstly
, in some countries
, the number
of poor people is higher and they not
have the money to buy products for their life because Change the verb form
do not
did not
in
Add the comma(s)
, in
one
family , the number
of children
is more than 3. Then
, the budget of the family is less than the real budget for baying
products and Correct your spelling
buying
services
. Such
Arabic countries
, the number
of children
is high and parents
have
not the money Add a missing verb
do have
for buying
the products and Change preposition
to buy
services
to
Change preposition
for
theses
Correct your spelling
these
children
.
Secondly
, in these countries
how
the Correct word choice
where
number
of children
is higher, the government
have
not the possibility to help all the families to grow their Add a missing verb
does have
children
. It is difficult to help them in
the cost of educational and medical Change preposition
with
services
. Such some
Correct word choice
Some
countries
in Africa have the poor
educational and medical Correct word choice
poorest
services
in the world because the government
have
not the capacity to help all Add a missing verb
does have
children
in these contexts.
Finally
, if the parents
want their children
have
Add the particle
to have
job
in the future and the Add an article
a job
government
help
them Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
about
Change preposition
with
this
subject, it supposes
to have Wrong verb form
is supposed
one
or two children
. Such
JAPAN, all families have not more 2
Change preposition
than 2
children
. The parents
and the governments garanti for
these Verb problem
guarantee
children
a high lifestyle. For
this
reason, it is the countries
Change noun form
country's
number
one
in the world.
In sum, the decision to have a child depend
on the capacity of the Correct subject-verb agreement
depends
parents
to make a high lifestyle for this
child. It is logical to have one
or 2 children
only. Besides
, it is a signal for the growthCorrect word choice
and
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task achievement
The essay provides a clear stance on the topic and the arguments are generally relevant. However, for a higher score, you may want to provide more specific examples and statistics to strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your argument could be improved by ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Consider using more cohesive devices like 'furthermore,' 'in addition,' and 'consequently.'
coherence cohesion
There are a number of grammar and vocabulary errors that might affect the clarity of your writing, such as 'the number of children a family can hare' instead of 'have' and 'the budget of the family is less than the real budget for baying products' instead of 'buying products.' Proofreading your essay can help minimize these errors.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which provide a good framework for your essay. This makes it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
You have made a good attempt to provide reasons and examples to support your stance. This shows that you have a good understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.