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Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people think developing countries should invite large foreign companies to open offices and factories to grow their economies. other think developing Countries should keep the large companies out and develop local companies instead. Discuss both views

#people #countries #companies #offices #factories #economies
People have different views about whether the economic growth of their country can be achieved by attracting foreign businesses and investments or by promoting their own domestic companies
instead
.
While
 inviting international proposals can benefit
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
employment
opportunites
Correct your spelling
opportunities
, I believe that promoting local companies will foster the nation to maintain
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 own culture and traditional
vlues
Correct your spelling
values
.
Submitted by chandralekha1993 on

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task achievement
The introduction provides a good overview of the topic, but make sure to expand on the main points to create a clear stance.
coherence cohesion
Avoid minor spelling and grammatical errors such as 'opportunites' and 'vlues'.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to support your arguments to enhance the clarity and relevance of your points.
coherence cohesion
Develop each viewpoint more thoroughly and ensure a logical structure throughout the essay.
task achievement
The introduction succinctly presents the key aspects of the discussion.
task achievement
The essay topic addresses a pertinent and relevant debate in the current global economic context.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Foreign direct investment (FDI)
  • Job creation
  • Advanced technologies
  • Skill development
  • Economic dependency
  • Infrastructure improvement
  • Homegrown industries
  • Equitable economic development
  • Cultural identity
  • Sustainable practices
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