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Writing Samples /
Band 0.5

Some people say that too much attention and too many resources are given to protect wild animal and birds. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #attention #resources #birds
In
this
 contemporary world, it is argued that wild animals and birds are given extra care and
resources
Correct article usage
the resources
show examples
 spent are higher for protecting them. In my opinion, I completely agree with
this
 statement because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it provides the opportunity to preserve the
indigenous
Capitalize word
Indigenous
show examples
 species and to maintain
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 eco-friendly balanced environment.
Submitted by chandralekha1993 on

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task achievement
Develop each argument further by providing specific examples or case studies to support your points. For instance, mention specific endangered species that have benefited from conservation efforts.
coherence cohesion
Divide the essay into clear paragraphs. Each paragraph should discuss a single main idea. This will help organize the response and make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction outlines the main points you will discuss in the essay. Conclude each paragraph with a sentence that links it to the next paragraph or the overall argument of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay starts with a clear introduction that states the writer's opinion on the topic, which is a strong point.
task achievement
The main argument is relevant to the task and introduces the key reasons for supporting wildlife protection.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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