Nowadays young people admire media and sports stars, even though they do not set a good example. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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Currently,
due to
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the significant development of technology, more and more
people
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are using social
media
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platforms
such
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as Facebook, Instagram, or TikTok as places to socialize and entertain with
people
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all around the world.
However
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, some individuals have admired
media
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and
sports
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stars
although
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some of them do not have good behaviors and attitudes. In
this
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essay, I will discuss both advantages and disadvantages and
also
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present my perspective. On the one hand, idolizing celebrities on social
media
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or
sports
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stars can bring various benefits and one of them is contributing to economic growth. Using well-known
people
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as the brand endorsement to promote the brand's products and services is an effective marketing strategy. Consumers tend to purchase products that famous individuals use as they believe they will be high quality and trustworthy.
For instance
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, regarding Pepsi's report in 2023, the number of products they have sold out had significantly increased - double the previous year as Blackpink - a famous K-pop girl group had been the brand endorsement.
On the other hand
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, admiring
people
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who have negative impacts on
media
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and
sports
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can cause many drawbacks.
To begin
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with, following persons who do not set a good example can affect the
behaviors
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behaviours
show examples
of watchers, especially young
people
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. Many influencers create a lot of content that includes wrong information or bad ways of behaving in social situations. One of the excellent examples is a Tiktoker called Nờ ô nô in Vietnam, he uploaded a video that received much attention and he made jokes about a homeless per In conclusion,
while
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the advantage of idolizing a famous person or celebrities in
media
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or
sports
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can bring benefits
such
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as contributing to the growth of the economy, the disadvantages of admiring bad individuals can affect how
people
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's behaviours
outweigh
Verb problem
apply
show examples
.
Submitted by cathyngo1512 on

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task achievement
The essay should delve deeper into both aspects of the argument, providing more balanced detail on both the positive and negative impacts of admiring media and sports stars.
task achievement
Be sure to flesh out your ideas more comprehensively. For instance, discuss more thoroughly how young people’s behavior could be influenced by negative role models.
coherence cohesion
Ensure clear and comprehensive definition and layout of arguments within the paragraphs to enhance logical flow.
coherence cohesion
Be careful about fully developing the conclusion to more effectively encapsulate the main points discussed in the essay.
general
Clear and concise introduction that sets up the discussion well.
task achievement
Provided relevant examples such as the Pepsi endorsement by Blackpink, which aids in supporting the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • media personalities
  • sports icons
  • role models
  • admiration
  • influence
  • behavior
  • mindset
  • values
  • unethical behavior
  • healthy lifestyles
  • social media platforms
  • celebrity culture
  • career aspirations
  • educational goals
  • positive change
  • ethical standards
  • amplify
  • idolize
  • public perception
  • impressionable
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