Nowadays young people admire media and sports stars, even though they do not set a good example. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Currently,
due to
the significant development of technology, more and more people
are using social media
platforms such
as Facebook, Instagram, or TikTok as places to socialize and entertain with people
all around the world. However
, some individuals have admired media
and sports
stars although
some of them do not have good behaviors and attitudes. In this
essay, I will discuss both advantages and disadvantages and also
present my perspective.
On the one hand, idolizing celebrities on social media
or sports
stars can bring various benefits and one of them is contributing to economic growth. Using well-known people
as the brand endorsement to promote the brand's products and services is an effective marketing strategy. Consumers tend to purchase products that famous individuals use as they believe they will be high quality and trustworthy. For instance
, regarding Pepsi's report in 2023, the number of products they have sold out had significantly increased - double the previous year as Blackpink - a famous K-pop girl group had been the brand endorsement.
On the other hand
, admiring people
who have negative impacts on media
and sports
can cause many drawbacks. To begin
with, following persons who do not set a good example can affect the behaviors
of watchers, especially young Change the spelling
behaviours
people
. Many influencers create a lot of content that includes wrong information or bad ways of behaving in social situations. One of the excellent examples is a Tiktoker called Nờ ô nô in Vietnam, he uploaded a video that received much attention and he made jokes about a homeless per
In conclusion, while
the advantage of idolizing a famous person or celebrities in media
or sports
can bring benefits such
as contributing to the growth of the economy, the disadvantages of admiring bad individuals can affect how people
's behaviours outweigh
.Verb problem
apply
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task achievement
The essay should delve deeper into both aspects of the argument, providing more balanced detail on both the positive and negative impacts of admiring media and sports stars.
task achievement
Be sure to flesh out your ideas more comprehensively. For instance, discuss more thoroughly how young people’s behavior could be influenced by negative role models.
coherence cohesion
Ensure clear and comprehensive definition and layout of arguments within the paragraphs to enhance logical flow.
coherence cohesion
Be careful about fully developing the conclusion to more effectively encapsulate the main points discussed in the essay.
general
Clear and concise introduction that sets up the discussion well.
task achievement
Provided relevant examples such as the Pepsi endorsement by Blackpink, which aids in supporting the argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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