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Band 3.5

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. to what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinoin? what sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

#children #difference #right #age #punishment #distinction #opinoin #sort #parents #teachers #behaviour
Nowadays, many companies use advertising to increase sales.
However
, advertisements have a strong impact on people around the world. In
this
 essay, I will be explaining the effect of what we see on social media. People over the years
come
Wrong verb form
have become
show examples
 more easily
to be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
controlled by the different things that the big companies present to them.
For example
, some factories represent the same thing every time but with small changes that make no big difference in the manufacturing work.
As a result
, there will be some trust connection between the customer and the salesperson which will make them buy every single machine
that is
 made by
this
 company.
Also
, fast
food
 ads that
show
Wrong verb form
are shown
show examples
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
television make people think that they will get the same meal.
For example
, most of the popular restaurants represent the
food
 in a very good way with more things to make the
food
 look nice and perfect. But in real life when you order from them you find that the
food
 is not the same.
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task achievement
Ensure that your essay directly addresses all parts of the prompt. Be clear and explicit about how advertising affects people around the world, not just on social media.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more fully. Include more specific examples and elaborate on how advertisements influence people’s choices.
coherence cohesion
Carefully proofread your essay for minor errors in grammar and word choice, such as using 'television' instead of 'the television,' to improve clarity and readability.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to provide a clear introduction that outlines the main points you will cover and a conclusion that summarizes your argument. This will help improve the overall structure and coherence of your essay.
task achievement
Your argument effectively highlights the influence of advertising on consumer behavior, such as the trust that forms between customers and companies.
task achievement
Your essay addresses relevant examples like fast food advertisements and manufacturing work, which makes your points more relatable and understandable.
coherence cohesion
Your transitional phrases (e.g., 'For example,' 'As a result') help in maintaining a logical flow within paragraphs.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • morals
  • reinforce
  • consequences
  • positive reinforcement
  • expectations
  • emotional well-being
  • psychological
  • non-physical punishment
  • time-outs
  • loss of privileges
  • extra chores
  • empathy
  • internalize
What to do next:
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