It is a good thing for the senior managers to have better salaries than other workers in a company or organization? To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Have you ever thought that senior
managers
must have a massive income than other employees in a company or organization? It is often argued that managers
should have similar salaries to any other workers
.This
this
essay will examine both views and will conclude with a logical conclusion.
Remove the redundancy
apply
To begin
with, first of all,Nowadays, life
become more expensive compared to ten years back, such
as lifestyle,daily routine, diet and the country's growth.On the one hand,the supporters believe that having a massive income will make life
easier because they are facing a global issues
Correct the article-noun agreement
global issues
a global issue
such
as daily life
needs.For instance
,some people are required to work abroad just to provide and
support their Change preposition
for and
family
.Fix the agreement mistake
families
In contrast
, to be able to provide money for their children support to go to school,books and clothes.Moreover
, senior project managers
have a huge amount
of responsibility why don't they deserve a huge salaries
?That's why it is important to have a large Correct the article-noun agreement
a huge salary
huge salaries
amount
of salary to be family supportive
.
Add a hyphen
family-supportive
On the other hand
,the opponents think that massive income for senior managers
should be equal to all workers
so there is no difference between them.In addition
, the man in charge does
less effort than normal Verb problem
makes
workers
why should the company pay them more than any workers
.
To add more,what is the use of having a massive Change the punctuation
?
amount
of salary while
they can't raise their own children or follow the success in their education.
As far as I'm concerned,Change the punctuation
?
i
strongly agree that senior Change the capitalization
I
managers
should have a big amount
of salary because they put in all the work for example
they plan the safety and the plan what to be done to success this
project to be able to achieve companies target.In addition
,the man in charge arrives earlier than others so they make sure no one gets hurt meaning planning the safety or preventing hazards to other workers
.
In conclusion,i
think that companies must provide massive wages to Change the capitalization
I
managers
for all the work they do effort and plan to achieve the company's goals.In other words
, having a good relaxing life
for both families and them there will be no tensions.Submitted by saeeddjcj80 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, but the main points could be more logically structured. Consider organizing your paragraphs more clearly to enhance readability.
task achievement
Some of your ideas are clear, but the essay would benefit from more comprehensive development. Try to provide more detailed arguments and examples to support your viewpoints.
task achievement
Your points could be supported with more specific and relevant examples. When stating a point, aim to back it up with concrete evidence or scenarios.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps to guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
You address both sides of the argument, showing a balanced view which enhances the completeness of your response.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.