IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1.5

What is the lesson that the new generation should learn from the older generation ?

#lesson #generation
The older generations
also
 have many
thinks
Correct your spelling
things
show examples
 which our new generation
needed
Wrong verb form
needs
show examples
 to learn. But the one thing which I thought the new generation should learn from us is
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
how to take
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advantage
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
this
 Science and technology era. Let me share an example my father is
an
Change the article
a
show examples
govenment
Correct your spelling
government
 employee but we are not financially
sstable
Correct your spelling
stable
.But I recently got
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 remote job offer from America
while
 I was sitting in my country and I have started earning in dollars
also
 my younger sister started his online
cloth selling
Add a hyphen
cloth-selling
show examples
 business on Facebook store so these incomes help our family situations and make both of us financially stable during our early twenties.
Lastly
 , I would suggest older generations they must take computer classes and learn how
this
 digital era is changing and how
peoplin
Correct your spelling
people
 get benefit from
this
.
Submitted by shahroz99dev on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Pay attention to grammar and spelling errors, such as 'thinks' should be 'things,' 'govenment' should be 'government,' and 'sstarted' should be 'started.'
clarity
Make sure your ideas are clearly and comprehensively presented. Avoid vague expressions and provide more detailed explanations for your points.
structure
Make use of paragraphs to separate different points. This will help your essay to be more logically structured and easier to follow.
examples
The essay provides relevant and specific examples to support the main point, such as the remote job offer from America and the online clothing business.
task response
The essay addresses a clear task response by discussing what the new generation can learn from the older generation and provides practical advice for both generations.
conclusion
An effort to conclude the essay is evident with a final suggestion to the older generation about taking computer classes.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!