In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.
Have you ever considered how to recover from
school
before attending a university or getting employment experience? It's common knowledge that having your parents push you to attend college
after high school
offers some benefits
, but it also
has drawbacks
. This
essay will examine the benefits
and drawbacks
of young people working or traveling
for a Change the spelling
travelling
year
in
between high Change preposition
apply
school
graduation
and college
enrollment, and it will do so in a rational manner.
On the one
hand, proponents assert that there are many benefits
to taking a year
off between high school
and college
. First,
youth learn from their mistakes as they gain experience in handling real-world issues that customers in restaurants and retail deal with on a daily basis. Second,
since they already have a part-time work
, families don't have to worry about income or pocket Remove the article
part-time work
a part-time job
money
for their kids. Additionally
, one
of the best things for the unspoken future may be saving money
. What if, for instance
, one
of the youth
had a final assignment at university that could be completed 50/50? Fix the agreement mistake
youths
Thirdly
, families don't need to worry about buying everyday university attire.Additionally
, Younge who does a part-time job can buy clothing for their
following academic phase.
The fact that having a job after high Change the word
the
school
helps their family is one
of the key benefits
. They may save money
for their younger brothers who are still in high school
thanks to it as well. That's why finding employment after graduation
is crucial.
Opponents, however
, contend that working after graduation
has some drawbacks
. One
of these drawbacks
is that young people tend to prioritize earning money
over their education, leading many to drop out of college
. They no longer have time for their family, which is another drawback. They also
lose track of how to study and resume their studies. For instance
, doctors lose their ability to study when they graduate from college
and begin working at a younger age.
Since both parties save money
, I believe there are more benefits
than drawbacks
to this
. Affluence also
translates into less
challenges in life.
In summary, there are Change the quantifier
fewer
benefits
and drawbacks
to encouraging young people to work or travel for a year
in
between high Change preposition
apply
school
graduation
and college
enrollment. Nonetheless
, I think that there are more benefits
than drawbacks
to taking a gap year
or working a year
.Submitted by saeeddjcj80 on
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coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition in your arguments. For example, the point about earning money for the family is repeated multiple times, making your essay seem redundant.
coherence cohesion
Provide clearer, more structured arguments. Use paragraphs to separate different points clearly and ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea.
task achievement
Ensure to provide specific examples to back up your arguments. This helps in making your points more convincing and tangible.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a structured way to present your viewpoints.
task achievement
You address both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic, showing a balanced approach.
task achievement
The general idea of the essay is clear and relevant to the prompt, making it easy to understand your viewpoints.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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