More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life ,but city can be extremely difficult.explain some of the dificulties of living in a city . How can government make urban life better for everyone.

In
this
modern era,
people
are struggling for
better
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a better
show examples
lifestyle .
Mostly
Correct your spelling
Most
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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individuals are moving to towns for
better
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a better
the better
show examples
lifestyle,
however
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however,
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
of
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in
show examples
cities
are
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is
show examples
very hard.In the following paragraphs,I will discuss the reasons
of
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for
show examples
this
trend and solutions to make the better living standard of
people
living in urban areas. The prominent problem faced by
people
living in
cities
is environmental
pollution
because in urban areas there is developed transportation and citizens use their private transports to travel on
daily
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a daily
show examples
basis which emits a lot of
pollution
which can cause several health issues to
people
such
as asthma.
Thus
,humans living in
cities
suffer from
pollution
problems.
Moreover
,
people
are facing unemployment in
cities
as there is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high competition between individuals and
less
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fewer
show examples
job opportunities which
result
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results
show examples
in poverty.
Thus
,
people
become unable to
fulfill
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fulfil
show examples
their basic requirements and live a better life.
In Contrast
,the first and foremost solution
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
should implement is that officials should promote public transport in order to decrease
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pollution
as if
people
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
use
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
private vehicles,it will result in less air
pollution
and
hence
people
will be
more healthy
Correct word choice
healthier
show examples
and will stay away from the decease and
people
can live long healthy lifestyle.
Furthermore
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
should provide more employment opportunities so that they can earn more money
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
live a better life and
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
their needs.
Thus
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
should provide more jobs. In Conclusion,
i
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I
show examples
can say that
people
are suffering from unemployment and
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
should mitigate
this
issue by providing more employment opportunities.
Submitted by simrankaurkaur450 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on structuring your paragraphs more clearly. Ensure each paragraph has a single clear idea or theme.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This can help make your arguments more persuasive and concrete.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition by using varied vocabulary and sentence structures. This can help keep the essay engaging and clear.
task achievement
Be cautious with grammar and vocabulary use. Some sentences were difficult to understand due to grammatical errors.
structure
Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument well.
content
You identified relevant points regarding pollution and unemployment, which are common urban challenges.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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