IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In recent years, there has been a significant advancement in AI and automation technologies. Some argue that these technologies will lead to widespread job displacement. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
 day and age, the remarkable advancements in AI and automation technologies have impacted various industries.
This
Linking Words
 rapid progress has raised concerns that
such
Linking Words
 innovations might lead to extensive
job
Use synonyms
 displacement across numerous professional fields.
However
Linking Words
, AI was developed with the purpose of serving humanity, aiming to make life more convenient and efficient.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, not only does AI create numerous new
job
Use synonyms
opportunities
Use synonyms
 in areas
such
Linking Words
 as technology development, system maintenance, and AI management, but it
also
Linking Words
 drives innovation and global economic growth. In fact, a plethora of new career
opportunities
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 been generated by the advancement of AI, particularly in fields
such
Linking Words
 as
data
Use synonyms
 science, AI engineering, and
data
Use synonyms
 analysis, which play a vital role in
this
Linking Words
 progress.
For example
Linking Words
, Google employs
data
Use synonyms
 scientists and AI engineers to optimize products like Google Search,
Google
Correct word choice
and Google
show examples
 Assistant, which improves user experience and highlights how AI generates new
job
Use synonyms
opportunities
Use synonyms
 in technology and
data
Use synonyms
 analysis.
Additionally
Linking Words
, technological advancements have often resulted in shifts within the
job
Use synonyms
 market rather than complete
job
Use synonyms
 displacement. Research has found that as new technologies evolve, they frequently require interdisciplinary expertise, fostering
opportunities
Use synonyms
 in fields that integrate AI with sectors like healthcare, finance, and logistics.
For instance
Linking Words
, the growth of the IT sector following the Internet's widespread adoption diminished roles in
data
Use synonyms
 management, which simultaneously sparked a surge in demand for software engineers, web developers, and cybersecurity experts.
To sum up
Linking Words
, AI and automation are more likely to reshape the
job
Use synonyms
 market than cause widespread displacement. They foster new roles and innovations, offering
opportunities
Use synonyms
 for upskilling and career growth. Far from a threat, these technologies drive progress and economic evolution.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To strengthen the task achievement, try to detail more examples and provide specific case studies or statistical data supporting the points raised, particularly regarding job creation due to AI advancements.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph should be more explicitly connected to the main argument. While each point is well-developed, the transition between supporting points could be a bit smoother.
task achievement
The essay comprehensively covers the topic, providing a clear stance and supporting it with relevant main points related to the advancement of AI and job markets.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is commendable, featuring a clear introduction, well-organized body paragraphs addressing different aspects of the topic, and a cohesive conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Strong coherence and cohesion due to proper paragraphing, clear topic sentences, and logical progression of ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: