1 For many young people today, shopping is their favorite free time activity. Why do you think this has happened? Should young people be encouraged to do different activities in their free time?
In recent years, shopping has become an increasingly popular leisure activity among young
people
. This
trend can be attributed to the instant gratification and emotional rewards it offers. However
, while
shopping may provide temporary satisfaction, it is important to encourage young people
to engage in more meaningful and productive activities
during their free time, such
as pursuing sports
, artistic endeavours, or learning new skills. These alternatives not only contribute to physical and mental well-being but also
foster personal growth and long-term happiness.
The growing preference for shopping as a recreational activity among young people
can be linked to the desire for immediate emotional gratification. In a world dominated by consumerism and social media, purchasing new items is often associated with success, happiness, and social status. This
is particularly evident in the influence of platforms such
as Instagram, where material wealth and the acquisition of fashionable goods are frequently glorified. The act of buying something new provides a momentary sense of achievement and excitement, which many young people
find highly appealing. This
“retail therapy” can also
act as a temporary escape from life’s challenges, such
as stress or boredom. Nevertheless
, the fleeting nature of this
satisfaction means that shopping cannot provide lasting fulfilment.
In contrast
, engaging in more active and enriching pursuits, such
as participating in sports
or learning a musical instrument, offers numerous long-term benefits. For example
, regular involvement in sports
not only improves physical health but also
promotes teamwork, discipline, and resilience—qualities that are essential for personal development. Furthermore
, sports
can help young people
build confidence and improve their mental health by reducing stress and anxiety. Likewise
, learning to play an instrument or engaging in artistic activities
fosters creativity, patience, and cognitive development. These activities
contribute to the holistic development of young people
, offering skills and experiences that last
far longer than the fleeting pleasure of a shopping spree.
In conclusion, although
shopping may provide short-term emotional rewards, it should not dominate young people
's free time. Rather, they should be encouraged to engage in activities
that promote both their physical and mental health, as well as
personal growth. By prioritizing more fulfilling pastimes, such
as sports
or artistic pursuits, young people
can cultivate skills and habits that will benefit them throughout their lives, contributing to a sense of lasting happiness and achievement.Submitted by erkasiet2008 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with clear connections between paragraphs. However, varying the sentence structure occasionally could enhance readability.
task achievement
Continue providing well-explained points, but try integrating some contrasting ideas to further strengthen your argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task effectively, offering a balanced discussion of why shopping is popular and why alternative activities should be encouraged.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph logically leads to the next, maintaining a smooth flow throughout the essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?