1 For many young people today, shopping is their favorite free time activity. Why do you think this has happened? Should young people be encouraged to do different activities in their free time?
In recent years, shopping has become an increasingly popular leisure activity among young
people
. Use synonyms
This
trend can be attributed to the instant gratification and emotional rewards it offers. Linking Words
However
, Linking Words
while
shopping may provide temporary satisfaction, it is important to encourage young Linking Words
people
to engage in more meaningful and productive Use synonyms
activities
during their free time, Use synonyms
such
as pursuing Linking Words
sports
, artistic endeavours, or learning new skills. These alternatives not only contribute to physical and mental well-being but Use synonyms
also
foster personal growth and long-term happiness.
The growing preference for shopping as a recreational activity among young Linking Words
people
can be linked to the desire for immediate emotional gratification. In a world dominated by consumerism and social media, purchasing new items is often associated with success, happiness, and social status. Use synonyms
This
is particularly evident in the influence of platforms Linking Words
such
as Instagram, where material wealth and the acquisition of fashionable goods are frequently glorified. The act of buying something new provides a momentary sense of achievement and excitement, which many young Linking Words
people
find highly appealing. Use synonyms
This
“retail therapy” can Linking Words
also
act as a temporary escape from life’s challenges, Linking Words
such
as stress or boredom. Linking Words
Nevertheless
, the fleeting nature of Linking Words
this
satisfaction means that shopping cannot provide lasting fulfilment.
Linking Words
In contrast
, engaging in more active and enriching pursuits, Linking Words
such
as participating in Linking Words
sports
or learning a musical instrument, offers numerous long-term benefits. Use synonyms
For example
, regular involvement in Linking Words
sports
not only improves physical health but Use synonyms
also
promotes teamwork, discipline, and resilience—qualities that are essential for personal development. Linking Words
Furthermore
, Linking Words
sports
can help young Use synonyms
people
build confidence and improve their mental health by reducing stress and anxiety. Use synonyms
Likewise
, learning to play an instrument or engaging in artistic Linking Words
activities
fosters creativity, patience, and cognitive development. These Use synonyms
activities
contribute to the holistic development of young Use synonyms
people
, offering skills and experiences that Use synonyms
last
far longer than the fleeting pleasure of a shopping spree.
In conclusion, Linking Words
although
shopping may provide short-term emotional rewards, it should not dominate young Linking Words
people
's free time. Rather, they should be encouraged to engage in Use synonyms
activities
that promote both their physical and mental health, Use synonyms
as well as
personal growth. By prioritizing more fulfilling pastimes, Linking Words
such
as Linking Words
sports
or artistic pursuits, young Use synonyms
people
can cultivate skills and habits that will benefit them throughout their lives, contributing to a sense of lasting happiness and achievement.Use synonyms
Submitted by erkasiet2008 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with clear connections between paragraphs. However, varying the sentence structure occasionally could enhance readability.
task achievement
Continue providing well-explained points, but try integrating some contrasting ideas to further strengthen your argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task effectively, offering a balanced discussion of why shopping is popular and why alternative activities should be encouraged.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph logically leads to the next, maintaining a smooth flow throughout the essay.
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