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Writing Samples
Band 6

The table shows data about underground railway systems in six major cities with date opedend, kilometres of route and passenger numbers per year in millions. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features making comparisons where relevant.

The table shows data about underground railway systems in six major cities with date opedend, kilometres of route and passenger numbers per year in millions. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features making comparisons where relevant.
#data #railway #systems #six #cities #date #opedend #kilometres #route #passenger #numbers #year #millions #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The table illustrates information about underground railway construction in
London
Use synonyms
, Paris,
Tokyo
Use synonyms
, Washington DC, Kyoto,
Los
Correct word choice
and Los
show examples
 Angeles in three categories.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the table that
London
Use synonyms
 is the oldest one and has the longest route than others,
while
Linking Words
Tokyo
Use synonyms
 has the highest number of passengers per stage.
London
Use synonyms
 has the oldest
rail
Use synonyms
 station built in 1863, at the same point Paris and
Tokyo
Use synonyms
 are the owners of the older track organization that others in
this
Linking Words
 table with constructed in 1900 and 1927, respectively.
London
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 has the longest
rail
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 rule at just under 400
kilometres
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Tokyo
Use synonyms
 has the most passengers per time with 1927 , following that Paris is second most in
this
Linking Words
 category with approximately 1200 passengers per period.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Los Angeles has the largest underground line arrangement opened at age 2001 and Kyoto had the second young
rail
Use synonyms
 station at the moment 1981.
However
Linking Words
, Washington DC have the longest
kilometres
Use synonyms
 of route with 126
kilometres
Use synonyms
 ,
while
Linking Words
 Kyoto has the shortest distance
rail
Use synonyms
 line structure at just above 10
kilometres
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Kawasaki on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words london, tokyo, rail, kilometres with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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