In many countries, it is common for people to consume fast food. However, some people believe that fast food has too much influence on our lifestyle and die. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
In
last
recent Correct word choice
apply
decades
the culture of fast Add a comma
decades,
food
has been increasing thus
most of
people Change preposition
apply
has
integrated fast Correct subject-verb agreement
have
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
to
Change preposition
into
dear
lifestyle. Consuming fast Correct article usage
a dear
food
has both effects on owe lifes
, I will discuss Correct your spelling
lives
bellow
both effects of Correct your spelling
below
this
new culture.
To begin
with
though it might be taught that eating Add a comma
with,
this
ready food
and junk food
is very beneficial for people especially those which do not have much time to cook however
in fact
Add the comma(s)
, in fact,
this
food
has no nutritional value which could affect our health.
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
this
prepared food
are
not balanced Change the verb form
is
while
a good diet shoybe
balanced and contains different nutritional elements.
Correct your spelling
should be
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
this
food
have
much more fat and Change the verb form
has
sugars
which eventually will cause many Fix the agreement mistake
sugar
disease
as cardiovascular problems and diabetes.
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases such
Last
but not least with the vast diffusion of fast food
the art of cooking meals at home is gradually vanishing which surely affect
one Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
the
most important traditional culture of humankind.
In Change preposition
of the
conclusion
I believe that Add a comma
conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
acces
use of fast Correct your spelling
access
food
will affect directly the health and the body of persons.Submitted by yas.mer.pharm on
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grammar
Avoid spelling and grammatical mistakes. For example, 'Consuming fast food has both effects on owe lifes' should be 'Consuming fast food has both positive and negative effects on our lives'.
structure
Make sure each paragraph covers one central point and elaborates it with supporting details and examples. This will strengthen the coherence of your essay. For example, the section discussing 'no nutritional value' could provide specific consequences of this issue like weight gain or obesity.
development
Include more specific examples to substantiate your points. For instance, when discussing 'bad health effects,' referencing specific studies or statistics about obesity rates can be effective.
structure
The introduction sets the stage for the discussion, and the conclusion effectively sums up your opinion, reiterating the central idea of fast food affecting health.
content
The main points are generally clear and relevant, addressing significant concerns about fast food.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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