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Band 2.5

In many countries, it is common for people to consume fast food. However, some people believe that fast food has too much influence on our lifestyle and die. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#countries #people #food #influence #lifestyle
In
last
Correct word choice
apply
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recent
decades
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decades,
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 the culture of fast
food
 has been increasing
thus
 most
of
Change preposition
apply
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people
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 integrated fast
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
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to
Change preposition
into
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dear
Correct article usage
a dear
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 lifestyle. Consuming fast
food
 has both effects on owe
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
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, I will discuss
bellow
Correct your spelling
below
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 both effects of
this
 new culture.
To begin
with
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with,
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 though it might be taught that eating
this
 ready
food
 and junk
food
 is very beneficial for people especially those which do not have much time to cook
however
in fact
Add the comma(s)
, in fact,
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this
food
 has no nutritional value which could affect our health.
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
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this
 prepared
food
are
Change the verb form
is
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 not balanced
while
 a good diet
shoybe
Correct your spelling
should be
 balanced and contains different nutritional elements.
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
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this
food
have
Change the verb form
has
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 much more fat and
sugars
Fix the agreement mistake
sugar
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 which eventually will cause many
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases such
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 as cardiovascular problems and diabetes.
Last
 but not least with the vast diffusion of fast
food
 the art of cooking meals at home is gradually vanishing which surely
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
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 one
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 most important traditional culture of humankind. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
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 I believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
acces
Correct your spelling
access
 use of fast
food
 will affect directly the health and the body of persons.
Submitted by yas.mer.pharm on

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grammar
Avoid spelling and grammatical mistakes. For example, 'Consuming fast food has both effects on owe lifes' should be 'Consuming fast food has both positive and negative effects on our lives'.
structure
Make sure each paragraph covers one central point and elaborates it with supporting details and examples. This will strengthen the coherence of your essay. For example, the section discussing 'no nutritional value' could provide specific consequences of this issue like weight gain or obesity.
development
Include more specific examples to substantiate your points. For instance, when discussing 'bad health effects,' referencing specific studies or statistics about obesity rates can be effective.
structure
The introduction sets the stage for the discussion, and the conclusion effectively sums up your opinion, reiterating the central idea of fast food affecting health.
content
The main points are generally clear and relevant, addressing significant concerns about fast food.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • widespread availability
  • convenience
  • negatively affecting
  • obesity
  • heart diseases
  • diabetes
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • aggressive marketing strategies
  • eating habits
  • preferences
  • time-saving option
  • hectic schedules
  • accessible meal solution
  • diversity in food options
  • different cuisines
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