Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Is it a positive or negative trend?
Nowadays, our world is changing rapidly, especially in technology
such
as smartphones, automation, robots, artificial intelligence, and so on. In particular
, mobile phones become one of the most vital things in our daily life. Not only teenagers
, adults or working age have their mobile phones but some Add a missing verb
do teenagers
children
also
have access to it
. Correct pronoun usage
them
Furthermore
, some groups spend their time every day in front of the monitor. So, there are some concerns and I will show the positive and negative points
of this
behaviour.
Firstly
, There are some pros that people agree with these points
. For example
, some parents
do not have time to stay with their kids, so they decide to give them a smartphone, wishing them fun and not lonely by watching some content from social media. Some fathers or mothers also
believe that children
, who have their own phone
, can call their Fix the agreement mistake
phones
parents
when they need some help or contact them in abnormal situations. Having said that, these kinds of situation
provides a lot of positive Fix the agreement mistake
situations
trend
.
Change to a plural noun
trends
However
, on the flip of a coin, there are also
some negative points
including too much time spent and appropriate use. For instance
, some sons and daughters Add a missing verb
are addict
addict
to watching content on their smartphones Replace the word
addicted
instead
of playing outside with their friends. This
will cause them to be an anti-social person. Some children
have aggressive behaviour when phones are away. Because of ignorance and control from parents
, some groups tend to use their electronic devices for illegal purposes like porn, or crime. Finally
, these can lead to terrible moments for them and their parents
.
To summarise, smartphones are one of the most innovative developments and highly helpful tools for every human. Nevertheless
, in
Change preposition
apply
children
, using devices have to be educated and controlled by adults with appropriate advice. Using with suitability will make a lot of positive points
for both children
and parents
.Submitted by matty10
on
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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to illustrate your points better. For instance, mention specific social media platforms or types of content that children might be engaging with.
coherence
Ensure that every paragraph is focused on a single main idea to improve clarity. For example, separate the idea of parental neglect and children's safety into different sections.
coherence
Work on sentence variety to enhance the flow of your writing. Use complex and compound sentences alongside simple sentences for better rhythm and engagement.
introduction
Your introduction effectively outlines the scope of the discussion and sets up the essay well.
conclusion
The conclusion provides a clear summary and presents a balanced view on the role of smartphones in children's lives.
task response
You have raised relevant points and provided a well-rounded discussion by addressing both the positive and negative aspects of children's smartphone usage.