In many countries, the average life expectancy has been increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of aging populations
In many
nations
Add a comma
nations,
life
expectancy growing . This
essay will discuss some issues that
associated with increasing Correct pronoun usage
apply
of
Change preposition
apply
life
expectency
Correct your spelling
expectancy
,
and explore possible Remove the comma
apply
resolution
to decrease the effect of Fix the agreement mistake
resolutions
this
matter.
To begin
with, expanding life
expactancy
has several drawbacks that should be taken into account properly. Correct your spelling
expectancy
First,
the demand of
Change preposition
in
country
will decrease because more Correct article usage
the country
people
needed
money Wrong verb form
need
due to
rising
Correct article usage
the rising
of
Change preposition
apply
life
expectancy. For example
, a country
should spend to providing shelter, health care, and nutrition for his
Correct pronoun usage
its
people
. Therefore
, this
phenomenon has a crucial impact on the financal
capacity of a nation.
Correct your spelling
financial
Additionally
, In term
of Fix the agreement mistake
terms
individual
, because of Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
vast
Correct article usage
the vast
diffirencies
between Correct your spelling
differences
difference
young
and senior Correct article usage
the young
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
the
cultural conflict is inevitable.
To address Correct article usage
apply
this
issue , a country
should organize it's
budget to sustain more Replace the word
its
people
's needs. Likewise
, the adverse effects of Add an article
the aging
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
population
may be reduce
Change the verb form
be reduced
through
Change preposition
by
encourging
Correct your spelling
encouraging
people
to give less birth. For instance
, China is a country
that have
a convenient policy for diminishing Change the verb form
has
of
the negative Change preposition
apply
consequenses
of Correct your spelling
consequences
Add an article
the aging
an aging
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
population
. Moreover
, it is also
essential to create
Verb problem
apply
a
Correct article usage
apply
collaboration
with Replace the word
collaborate
young
and older Add an article
the young
generation
to overcome cultural conflicts.
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
generations
Add an article
the aging
an aging
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
population
has many disadvantages for society and individuals. The expenditures of a country
may not be enough to allow meeting
more Wrong verb form
meet
people
's needs. Also
, engaging cultural conflicts from diffirent
Correct your spelling
different
generation
may have devasting results for individuals. I would recommend having control of the birth rate which is Fix the agreement mistake
generations
Correct article usage
the naturalize
naturalize
Replace the word
naturalised
population
of Correct article usage
the counrty
counrty
. Correct your spelling
country
This
approch
has a Correct your spelling
approach
possitive
effect Correct your spelling
positive
for
Change preposition
on
demand
of a Add an article
the demand
country
that they do not have to spend money for
more Change preposition
on
people
.Submitted by Yasar Khan on
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task achievement
Enhance the explanations of your points. Provide more detailed examples to illustrate your arguments clearly. This will improve the clarity and impact of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Work on maintaining coherence throughout the essay by ensuring that your ideas flow logically from one to the next. This can be improved by using more transitional phrases and avoiding abrupt transitions.
language
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence structure. Minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing can distract from the content of your essay and reduce its overall quality.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic and the questions posed, covering both the problems and possible solutions related to increasing life expectancy.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is organized into clear paragraphs with an introduction, body, and conclusion. This helps with the overall structure and readability.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example