IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Some argue that
science
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 should take improving
individual's
Change noun form
individual
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life
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standards
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 as its most significant aim. I strongly support that idea too because
human
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humans
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 the most meaningful and crucial living beings on our planet and improving
people
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's
lives
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 can improve other bios
lives
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 like animals and plants. The primary reason why
science
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 should aim to improve human
life
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standards
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 is the significance of
people
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 in the world. The only living being which has the will. In
this
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 world,
people
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 discover and explore everything which makes them meaningful and so important for the planet
due to
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 improving
people
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's
lives
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 is more crucial than the other scientific aims.
Also
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 throughout humanity,
science
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people's
Wrong verb form
has
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 always tried to find a better
life
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 for
people
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.
For example
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, medicines, types of equipment even a Philosopher's Stone which makes
people
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 immortal. The second main reason why
this
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 aim is improving
people
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's
lives
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 can affect
the
Correct article usage
apply
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other
lives
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.
As a result
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 of improving
people
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's
lives
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,
people
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 can improve other
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
such
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 as animals and plants
due to
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 their new
life
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standards
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.
For instance
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,
due to
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 developments in medical technology
people
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 can grow plants more easily and healthily and
also
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 some endangered animals can be protected more safely even maybe extinct ones can be cloned.
Therefore
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 improving a person's
life
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standards
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also
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 means improving
ecosystem's
Correct article usage
the ecosystem's
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standards
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.
To sum up
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, I totally believe that
science
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 should target the improving individual's
life
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 because improving
people
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's
lives
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also
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 may improve others bios
life
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 in a good way and
people
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 are the most soulful and special living beings in the world.

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coherence cohesion
Improve sentence structures for enhanced clarity and readability. Some of the sentences are unnecessarily long and complex, which could impede understanding. Consider breaking them down into simpler, more direct sentences.
task achievement
Work on improving grammar and syntax to avoid small errors. For example, in "Other lifes" should be "other lives," and "a Philosopher's Stone which makes people immortal" could be rephrased for clarity.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the ideas flow logically between paragraphs. Adding transition phrases or sentences can help bridge ideas and improve coherence.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear and relevant response to the topic, with a well-structured introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You provided specific examples, such as developments in medical technology, to support your points, which strengthens your argument.
coherence cohesion
There is a good overall structure with well-defined paragraphs addressing the main points of your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
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