IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people spend most of their lives living close to where they were born. What might be the reasons for this? What are the advantages and disadvantages?”

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First of all,several
people
Use synonyms
 love to spend most of their lives living near where they were born.
This
Linking Words
 comes either from
bloodline
Correct article usage
the bloodline
show examples
 or from the society where they used to live.Some prefer to spend the rest of their lives far from their townhouse or community.
Firstly
Linking Words
, human nature adapted to live in the same environment or in the same culture,which doesn't let them move to other places.It is often that
people
Use synonyms
 have some kind of six senses
tell
Correct pronoun usage
that tell
show examples
 them to stay in the same place rather than try new things.
For example
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 are afraid of change, and to try to live in a different society.
However
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, in some countries, it might be safer to live in than another country because,(of corruption,political pressure,stability, cultural differences etc.).
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 working in government with stable incomes, businessmen, artists,and movie stars, prefer to live in their homeland rather than ordinary community as their income is already high.
For example
Linking Words
, Bill Gates
love
Correct subject-verb agreement
loves
show examples
 to
saty
Correct your spelling
sit
 in
Correct article usage
the Unites
show examples
Unites
Replace the word
United
show examples
State Of
Correct your spelling
States of
show examples
 America and
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
quiet
Correct article usage
a quiet
show examples
 big country
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to other
contries
Correct your spelling
countries
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,there are some disadvantages to living far from the homeland.Because,they left everything behind,
For instance
Linking Words
, friends,family,cultural food,and the atmosphere where they used to live.But some
people
Use synonyms
 do not have
opportunity
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
show examples
 for a good income salary in their country, and
as a result
Linking Words
, they have to go abroad to look for financial stability to support their family.
Finally
Linking Words
, wherever
people
Use synonyms
 feel safe they prefer to live there with peace of mind just to avoid problems, and they think priority about their children's future.

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introduction conclusion
The introduction should succinctly introduce the main points to be covered. Review your introduction to ensure all main aspects are touched upon before diving into details.
logical structure
Avoid repetitive phrases and ideas. Aim to be concise and clear. This will help your essay to flow better and improve coherence.
relevant specific examples
Enrich your essay with more specific examples, particularly where you make general statements. This will help to strengthen your points and make your argument more compelling.
language use
The essay uses a variety of vocabulary and demonstrates an ability to construct sentences with more complex structures.
idea articulation
The essay does a good job of articulating the advantages and disadvantages of living close to one's birthplace through valid points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Familiarity
  • Comfort
  • Social ties
  • Family ties
  • Belonging
  • Resources
  • Opportunities
  • Fear
  • Unknown
  • Financial constraints
  • Cultural attachment
  • Language barriers
  • Limited education
  • Skills
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