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2.It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

#year #school #university #trend
In the modern era, taking a
year
 off between finishing high
school
 and going to university is becoming a popular trend,
however
, it comes with both advantages and disadvantages, which I will discuss with reasons in the following paragraphs. The first benefit of taking a one-
year
time
 off between
school
 and college is making the best
career
 path for a lifetime. There are a plethora of scholars who are unable to make decisions for their
further
study
,
due to
 immature thinking, unguided parents, and, sometimes their financial crisis not letting them take any course, but taking
time
 off between academics not only helps them to choose a right path for future, but
also
 make them enough mature to follow their passions. A recent
study
 has shown data in the United States, that 30% of students got a job in the same field of their interest, because, they took
time
 off for one
year
 to know their choices, what they want to do, and why they want to do it.
As a result
, the advantages of a
year
gap
 between studies are unavoidable. The drawback of taking a
year
gap
 between high
school
 and university is
also
career
 failure. Sometimes teenagers distract themselves from their studies, after finding out that they are free from
study
 and have a lot of
time
 to play video games, surf on the Internet, or go out with friends. In
this
 case, some kids forget their goals and adopt easily available options to earn money,
such
 as freelancing,
laboring
Change the spelling
labouring
show examples
 in warehouses, and, finding temporary jobs to take care of their expenses,
as a result
, they become successful for a short
time
, which leads to a destroyed
career
. The biggest example of Red Indian natives in Canada, who could not
study
further
 only because of a one-
year
gap
 between college and high
school
. To synopsize, I pen down saying that taking a
gap
 in the
study
 has the advantage of a bright future,
however
, some students can
also
 diminish their
career
, which is the biggest drawback of it.
Submitted by hkaur14165 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve logical structure, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details. Transitions between ideas can be more seamless.
task achievement
Work on developing more comprehensive ideas. While your points are clear, they lack depth in explanation. Provide more detailed examples to support your arguments.
task achievement
Make sure your essay addresses both sides of the argument equally to achieve a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
The essay clearly introduces the topic and provides a balanced discussion with both advantages and disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, such as the study in the United States and Red Indian natives in Canada, adds credibility to your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • personal growth
  • cultural exchange
  • employability
  • academic pressures
  • burnout
  • resume building
  • global awareness
  • academic skills deterioration
  • financial implications
  • structured educational environment
  • peer separation
  • readjusting
  • rigor
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