IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average austraian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average austraian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.
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There are two charts the first one illustrates how
average
Correct article usage
the average
show examples
Austraian
Correct your spelling
Australian
 household
use
Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 the second shows the greenhouse
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
 which come
as a result
Linking Words
 of
energy
Use synonyms
useg
Correct your spelling
use
used
.Well,a lot of notable things can be observed.
Overall
Linking Words
,we can see that heating has the most proportion of
useg
Correct your spelling
use
while
Linking Words
 the most
energy
Use synonyms
 that leads to
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
 is water heating with 32% of the total greenhouse
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
. On the one hand,heating
dominate
Change the verb form
dominates
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Austraian
Correct your spelling
Australian
 household
energy
Use synonyms
 with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 proportion of 42%.
Morover
Correct your spelling
Moreover
,cooling , lighting and refrigeration come
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the bottom of the list with 13%
compaind
Correct your spelling
compound
compared
.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
 water heating
come
Correct subject-verb agreement
comes
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second place with approximately 30%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,there are
alot
Correct your spelling
lot
 to observe on the greenhouse
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
 which come
as a result
Linking Words
 of
Austraian
Correct your spelling
Australian
 household
energy
Use synonyms
useg
Correct your spelling
use
used
.First of all,lighting and cooling are
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the bottom of the list with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 proportion of 11%
compained
Correct your spelling
combined
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,refrigeration and heating have nearly the same percentage
although
Linking Words
heating
Add an article
the heating
show examples
 was the most
energy
Use synonyms
 that
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 been used.
Finally
Linking Words
,water heating and other appliances are
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the top of the list with approximately the same percentage.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "as a result, while".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, gas, emissions with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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