IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 0.5

Some people say that with the development of the Internet, Radio has no future. Do you agree?

#people #development #internet #radio #future
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There is no denying the fact that the internet is an inextricably linked component of our lives.
On the other hand
, the radio is
also
 used for getting news and listening to music. Both of them are widespread ways to get information in our rapidly changing world.
In addition
, the radio is forgetting time by time. Almost all people prefer to use the internet because of some necessary reasons. First and foremost, the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 is accessible
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 everyone.
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

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introduction conclusion present
Develop the introduction and conclusion more clearly. While the introduction is present, it could benefit from being more concise and outlining the points that will be discussed in the essay. Also, include a conclusion that summarizes the main points and reiterates your stance.
logical structure
Enhance coherence by making more effective use of linking words and phrases. This will help to clearly structure your argument and make it easier for the reader to follow the flow of your ideas.
relevant specific examples
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This will help make your argument more compelling and demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.
complete response
The essay is well-focused on the topic and addresses the main question effectively.
clear comprehensive ideas
There is a clear understanding of the general advantages of the internet over the radio.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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