IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Governments should spend more money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Disagree

#governments #money #railways #roads
Even though
trains
 are more spacious, it is impossible to build railways around each corner.
Trains
 allow many people to travel at once yet it fails to provide each desired
destinations
Fix the agreement mistake
destination
show examples
.
This
 makes people
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
use transport methods on
road
Correct article usage
the road
show examples
 rather than
trains
 as it is location friendly.
For instance
, many people in Sri Lanka prefer travelling by bus or three-wheelers over
trains
 as it allows them to reach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their destination more accurately.
As for
Change preposition
For
show examples
this
 particular reason, governments should focus more and spend more on developing and constructing roads than railway systems.
Submitted by lithmakumaradasa on

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coherence cohesion
Provide a clear introduction and conclusion to frame your arguments better. This will help in delivering a more coherent piece of writing.
task achievement
Expand upon your points with detailed explanations and possible counterarguments to ensure a thorough and balanced presentation.
coherence cohesion
Consider organizing your essay into distinct paragraphs for each major point. This will improve readability and logical flow.
task achievement
You have presented a clear argument against the statement and provided a relevant example to support your stance.
coherence cohesion
Your essay stays on topic and maintains a consistent viewpoint throughout.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon emissions
  • Mass transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic growth
  • Regional development
  • Initial investment
  • Feasibility
  • Flexibility
  • Rural areas
  • Integration
  • Sustainable
  • Efficiency
  • Infrastructure
  • Commuters
  • Public expenditure
  • Autonomous vehicles
  • Long-term investment
  • Accessibility
  • Connectivity
  • Modal shift
What to do next:
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