Some people think people can exploit animals for any purpose they need, while others do not think so. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #animals #purpose

Firstly

, I will discuss the two sides starting with the side that thinks it is okay to exploit

animals

for any purpose I really do not agree with them at all

hence

,I do believe it is okay to use

animals

for are good but to a point like food or actual human needs but hunting for fun or playing with

animals

for your own enjoyment really bugs me and I do not in

anyway

Replace the word

any way

show examples

agree with exploiting

animals

secondly

Add a comma

secondly,

show examples

I strongly agree with the other side the side that

Change the verb form

does

show examples

not believe it is okay to exploit poor

animals

for fun one day god is going to take revenge for them because they are poor and weak souls and you as a human who can understand and have the guts you use it to abuse the

animals

that is

totally wrong and unfair.

Lastly

Add a comma

Lastly,

show examples

I do believe that governments should

put

Verb problem

apply

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

punishment

Change preposition

apply

show examples

animal abuse and for people who kill

animals

just to kill

some

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

time or for their own good

that is

not a human thing to do

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

studies have shown that criminals usually start their path by killing

animals

such

as rats and bugs

then

slowly

leveling

Change the spelling

levelling

show examples

up to killing bigger

animals

like cats and dogs

then

bigger or harder

animals

monkeys and the list goes on up until humans that

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

can be seen in many criminals around the world I do hope

this

report can change some people minds and

re think

Correct your spelling

rethink

show examples

how they treat the

animals

around them.

Submitted by alaanoudaltammaami on Wed Jul 24 2024

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coherence cohesion

Work on crafting a clear and concise introduction to set up the discussion effectively. This will provide a roadmap for the reader and improve overall coherence.

coherence cohesion

Ensure you use paragraphs to separate different points or ideas. This helps in maintaining a logical structure and makes the essay easier to follow.

task achievement

While discussing your opinions, provide specific examples and evidence to support your points. This will enhance the persuasiveness and relevance of your arguments.

task achievement

Consider addressing the opposite viewpoint more comprehensively. This demonstrates an understanding of the complexity of the issue and shows balanced reasoning.

task achievement

You have presented a clear stance on the issue, which is important for task response.

task achievement

The essay reflects genuine concern and passion about the topic, which engages the reader.

coherence cohesion

There is a logical progression in presenting your arguments even though the essay could benefit from more structured paragraphs.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

254 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Exploitation
Dominion
Medical research
Ethical considerations
Animal rights
Humane treatment
Environmental consequences
Sustainable farming
Cruelty-free
Technological advancements
Lab-grown meat
Computer modeling
Cultural context
Animal welfare
Empathy
Responsible stewardship
Alternatives

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Some people think people can exploit animals for any purpose they need, while others do not think so. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Being overweight has become a major health concern in many parts of the world. Explain the causes for being overweight and provide solutions.

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Do you believe that self-driving cars will become common in the near future? Why or why not? Support your answer with reasons and expamles from your own knowledge or experience.

Smoking is a major cause of serious illness and death throughout the world today. In the interest of the public health, governments should ban cigarettes and other tobacco products. To what extent do you agree or disagree?