Your friend has a travel company and would like you to come and work with him. Write a letter replying to your friend's offer. In your letter: •explain what you know about your friend's company •choose whether you accept or decline the offer •give reasons for your choice

Dear Raman, I hope
this
letter finds you in
best
Correct article usage
the best
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of your health. I am writing
this
letter to thank you for the job offer that you made to me. Being a close
allie
Correct your spelling
ally
of yours, I know
that
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apply
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how ambitious you are about the expansion plans of your travel company's business, especially in Europe. I know that you started
this
company ten years ago and your travel agency offers budget holiday options all around the globe. As you are aware of the fact that I
am
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have been
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residing in Ireland
from
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for
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last
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the last
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couple of years and
persuing
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pursuing
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my
carrer
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career
as a travel insurance agent in an
establish
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established
show examples
firm. I
have been
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was
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promoted to the post of Regional Sales Manager
last
year,
therefore
I won't be able to accept
this
offer at
this
stage of my
carrer
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career
. I have worked tirelessly to reach
this
position and
above all
my skills in organising excursion holidays for groups are not that good, but I have
few
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a few
show examples
contacts that would assist and help you to achieve your ambitions. Thanking you. Yours lovingly, Maninder.
Submitted by mrsdns on

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coherence cohesion
To make the letter more coherent, ensure each paragraph addresses a single idea more clearly without mixing topics. For example, the second paragraph could focus solely on your current job situation and your promotion, while the third paragraph can discuss your reasons for not accepting the offer and any suggestions you have for your friend's business.
task achievement
Try to consistently use formal language in your letter. Phrases like 'I am writing this letter to...' and ending with 'Yours sincerely' would maintain a formal tone throughout.
coherence cohesion
Check for grammatical accuracy, for example, 'close ally' instead of 'close allie,' 'pursuing' instead of 'persuing,' and 'established firm' instead of 'establish firm.' This will help in reducing inaccuracies and enhance the overall readability.
task achievement
You have provided a complete and thorough response to the task, addressing each of the required points clearly.
coherence cohesion
Your letter is structured well with a clear opening, body, and conclusion, making it easy to follow.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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