Your friend has a travel company and would like you to come and work with him. Write a letter replying to your friend's offer. In your letter: •explain what you know about your friend's company •choose whether you accept or decline the offer •give reasons for your choice

#friend #travel #company #work #offer #•explain #•choose #decline #•give #choice

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Dear Raman, I hope

this

Linking Words

letter finds you in

best

Correct article usage

the best

show examples

of your health. I am writing

this

Linking Words

letter to thank you for the job offer that you made to me. Being a close

allie

Correct your spelling

ally

of yours, I know

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

how ambitious you are about the expansion plans of your travel company's business, especially in Europe. I know that you started

this

Linking Words

company ten years ago and your travel agency offers budget holiday options all around the globe. As you are aware of the fact that I

Wrong verb form

have been

show examples

residing in Ireland

from

Change preposition

for

show examples

Linking Words

last

Change the article

the last

show examples

couple of years and

persuing

Correct your spelling

pursuing

show examples

carrer

Correct your spelling

career

as a travel insurance agent in an

establish

Change the verb form

established

show examples

firm. I

have been

Wrong verb form

was

show examples

promoted to the post of Regional Sales Manager

last

Linking Words

year,

therefore

Linking Words

I won't be able to accept

this

Linking Words

offer at

this

Linking Words

stage of my

carrer

Correct your spelling

career

. I have worked tirelessly to reach

this

Linking Words

position and

above all

Linking Words

my skills in organising excursion holidays for groups are not that good, but I have

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

contacts that would assist and help you to achieve your ambitions. Thanking you. Yours lovingly, Maninder.

Submitted by mrsdns on Thu Jul 25 2024

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coherence cohesion

To make the letter more coherent, ensure each paragraph addresses a single idea more clearly without mixing topics. For example, the second paragraph could focus solely on your current job situation and your promotion, while the third paragraph can discuss your reasons for not accepting the offer and any suggestions you have for your friend's business.

task achievement

Try to consistently use formal language in your letter. Phrases like 'I am writing this letter to...' and ending with 'Yours sincerely' would maintain a formal tone throughout.

coherence cohesion

Check for grammatical accuracy, for example, 'close ally' instead of 'close allie,' 'pursuing' instead of 'persuing,' and 'established firm' instead of 'establish firm.' This will help in reducing inaccuracies and enhance the overall readability.

task achievement

You have provided a complete and thorough response to the task, addressing each of the required points clearly.

coherence cohesion

Your letter is structured well with a clear opening, body, and conclusion, making it easy to follow.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

7 paragraphs

179 words

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