Some people say that modern technology has made shopping today easier, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #technology

In modern society, there is an ongoing debate about whether recent technologies make many

people

easier shopping or not, with some

people

believing shopping is simple because of scientific advancement. In

this

essay, I will argue and explain my opinion about

this

topic. On the one hand, scientific advancements enhance many

people

's quality of life.

In particular

, the shopping industry is developed today, and a lot of young

people

order simple products that they need through apps on smartphones

such

as clothes, shoes and books.

As a result

, numerous folks' consumption has increased significantly.

For example

according to

the National Statistics Office, in recent years, more than 50% of individuals' consumption has gone up since apps in the shopping industry were invented.

On the other hand

, scientific advancements do not make all folks easier shopping. Elderly

people

can not adopt several technologies.

Furthermore

, online shops have been experiencing an upward trend. For these reasons, they have problems that they can not find the goods they want to buy.

For instance

, a recent survey has shown that elderly folks' consumption has decreased by 15% point nowadays. In my opinion, there are some positive and negative effects.

However

it is clear that

all

people

is not easy to shop online and on apps. In conclusion,

while

it is undeniable that there are some benefits, it is apparent that it depends on who uses technology.

Submitted by garim4645 on Thu Jul 25 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses the prompt, but try to elaborate more on each viewpoint. Provide more detailed explanations and support your arguments with stronger examples.

coherence cohesion

Work on creating smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Make sure each paragraph logically flows from one to the next.

coherence cohesion

Strengthen your conclusion by summarizing the main points more effectively and clearly stating your stance on the issue.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your thesis statement in the introduction clearly outlines your opinion. This will provide a clear roadmap for your essay.

task achievement

Your introduction does a good job of setting up the debate about modern technology and shopping, providing a clear context for the discussion.

task achievement

You've included examples to support your points, which is great. Try to make these examples more specific and directly relevant to your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion recognizes the balance between the positive and negative impacts of technology on shopping, which is a nuanced perspective.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

232 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

online marketplaces
mobile payment options
personalized advertising
accessibility
compare prices
decision fatigue
impulse buying
financial imprudence
privacy and data security
transformed
streamlined
user-friendly

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Some people say that modern technology has made shopping today easier, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadaysthan in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agreee or disagree?

Millions of people every year move to English-speaking countries such as Australia, Britain or America, in order to study at school, college or university. Why do so many people want to study in English? Why is English such an important international language? Give reasons for your answer.

The government should be responsible for providing retirees with financial support and care. While many people think that citizens should save money to take care of themselves when they are old. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some school are very strict about their school uniforms and the appearance of their pupils, While other schools have a very relaxed dress code. (What are the advantages and disadvantages of children of having a school uniform?)

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+