IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The best way to make road transport safe is to require drivers to take a driving test every year. How much do you agree or disagree?

#road #transport #drivers #test #year
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The population is drastically improving nowadays.
Therefore
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, the use of
vehicles
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also
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 increases and sometimes it causes
accidents
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. Some
people
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 feel that the government should take a driving licence
test
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 every
year
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 to prevent it.
Conversely
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, some folk think that there is no reason to stop
accidents
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 on the roads. I disagree with
this
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 statement and I would like to share my thoughts on
this
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 matter in upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, some individuals feel that to make
road
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 transport safe everyone needs to take a driving
test
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 on a yearly basis but there are some other factors responsible for these tragedies. First and foremost, some drivers
drive
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 their
vehicles
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 unconsciously. To explicate more on it, one who drives after drinking and crashes their vehicle with other cars or persons.
Secondly
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, some humans do not service their motor
vehicles
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. Resultantly, sometimes it happens that the
break
Correct your spelling
brake
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 of the
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vehicles
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicle
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 would
fails
Change the verb form
fail
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 and a person can not control the vehicle leading to disaster.
For Instance
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, Populated countries like China and India, suffer from
accidents
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due to
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 drivers daydreaming
according to
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 one Indian survey on transport.
On the other hand
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, some humans feel that driving tests every
year
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 is the best way to decrease
road
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 disasters. Tacitly, some
people
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 strongly feel that some persons do not have their driving licence and
drive
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 their
vehicles
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 on
road
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.
Furthermore
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, parents
also
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 allow their underage children to
drive
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 fore-wheelers and they crash their cars with others
as a consequence
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,
people
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 think that higher authority should take
Add an article
a
show examples
driving
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test
Fix the agreement mistake
tests
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 every
year
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. Tacitly, it can make
road
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 transport safe.
For example
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, In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Japan and South Korea, every citizen who wants to
drive
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 they give their driving exam per
year
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 and the ratio of
accidents
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 in these countries is very low as per their government survey.
To conclude
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, some
people
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 believe that taking a driving licence
test
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 every
year
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 is the safest way to reduce
road
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accidents
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.
Nonetheless
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, some deny
this
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 and feel that other factors are responsible for the disasters and everyone tries to think about how to overcome these matters.
Submitted by kaverigoti2209 on

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task achievement
Clarify your stance on the topic more explicitly in the introduction. While it's clear that you disagree, the reasons can be introduced more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph elaborates on one main point to improve coherence. The first body paragraph touches upon multiple reasons which might confuse the reader.
task achievement
Include more specific statistical data or studies to strengthen the arguments. This makes your essay more compelling and persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Use more cohesive devices such as 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' 'For example,' etc., to guide the reader through your points more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion frame the essay well, providing clear context and closure.
task achievement
You effectively address both sides of the argument, giving your essay a balanced perspective.
task achievement
The essay contains relevant examples which help to illustrate your points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • road safety
  • annual driving tests
  • traffic laws
  • physical and cognitive abilities
  • deteriorating driving skills
  • financial and logistical implications
  • alternative safety measures
  • improved road infrastructure
  • public transport
  • stricter enforcement
  • demographics
  • tailored assessments
  • individual capabilities
  • psychological effects
  • confidence
  • performance
What to do next:
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