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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows how elderly people in Europe spent their free time between 1980 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows how elderly people in Europe spent their free time between 1980 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line chart illustrates how older people in Europe
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
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thier
Correct your spelling
their
 free time between 1980 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, we observe that, since 1980 the number of old age nationals who have spent on hiking has increased steadily.
However
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, in the case of reading and
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theatre
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theater
Add a comma
theater,
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 there were large fluctuations.
Moreover
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, after 2000, Surfing the internet
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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gained popularity and
hence
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 experienced a boom in the figures. On closer examination, it can be seen that exactly 20% of
elderly
Add an article
the elderly
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 public liked reading during free hours,
this
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 has grown at a constant rate since
then
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, and by the end of
2010
Add a comma
2010,
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this
Linking Words
was
Use synonyms
 close to 80%.
In addition
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 to
this
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, in 1980, 60% of the senior citizens were interested in Theater but during the next
decade
Add a comma
decade,
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this
Linking Words
was
Use synonyms
 nearly 30%, after which there
was
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 an increase. In 1980, out of every 100 old people 30 preferred to read books, but in 1990 and 2000
this
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was
Use synonyms
 40 and 20 individuals respectively, and by the beginning of 2000
this
Linking Words
was
Use synonyms
 close to 60 individuals. Interestingly, after 2000, the senior citizens who were using
internet
Add an article
the internet
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 during their leisure time had shot up by almost 30% points.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words was with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Elderly population
  • Leisure activities
  • Trends
  • Popularity
  • Steady rise
  • Gradual increase
  • Growing interest
  • Decline
  • Consistent
  • Upward trend
  • Resurgence
  • Comparative analysis
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