In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience
In recent years,
people
are migrating to cities
due to
better careers and excellent lifestyles. Many people
argue that migration towards cities
will put an extra burden on cities
infrastructure, Change noun form
cities'
city's
while
others believe that rural populations are getting more concerned about careers and the future of their families. In my opinion, it is not a positive development instead
provide
all Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
facilities
to the villagers near their territories. This
essay will discuss why the disadvantages outweigh on advantages and I will give examples.
On the one hand, better lifestyles and more facilities
. The main reason is that everybody wants a better job
with good pay and it is not possible to get the best employment in rural areas due to
the fewer job
opportunities. Another factor is that folks are moving with their families because they want to send their children to good colleges and universities, so they can get better jobs after completion of their studies. In addition
, in metro cities
, all amenities are in place such
as hospitals
, good roads, transport systems, better institutions for advanced studies, and fewer crimes. For example
, many students are moving to the cities
because they want to start a business or join a better job
, which is still not possible in villages yet.
On the other hand
, extra pressure on city infrastructures and the increase in crimes. It brings many disadvantages also
when rural citizens move towards the cities
. The primary reason is that need more houses to live, where
these Change preposition
in, where
people
can stay with their families and hospitals
to accommodate the patients. In addition
, the migration will create job
competition among the locals, so a number of gents
will lose their employment. Correct your spelling
agents
Furthermore
, more newcomers will produce pollution, which results in the poor health of the local people
. For instance
, in many cities
, people
have a shortage of houses and long queues to check up in hospitals
.
In my opinion, if the Government creates more facilities
such
as setting up universities, schools, and hospitals
, and builds industries and shopping centres, where villagers can get jobs near their areas.
In conclusion, following the analysis, it is clear that
the Authorities must provide all facilities
so local people
stop to move
out of their houses so they can contribute to the local area's economy. Wrong verb form
moving
Further
, it is predicted that moving trends of people
towards big cities
will continue until they have the required facilities
near their residents.Submitted by rbtech65 on
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task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument and gives a clear opinion, but the position and ideas could be more explicitly stated and elaborated on. Presenting more specific examples and expanding on the current ones would strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Some paragraphs are somewhat repetitive or unclear. Aim for a more logical flow between ideas and paragraphs. Try to link ideas more cohesively within and between paragraphs. Using a clear topic sentence for each paragraph can help unify the content more effectively.
general
There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrasings. Proofreading your essay and possibly rephrasing some sentences can enhance clarity. Paying attention to proper article usage, subject-verb agreement, and punctuation will improve readability.
coherence cohesion
It would be beneficial to develop the conclusion further, summarizing the key points discussed in the essay to reinforce the argument.
task achievement
You have presented a clear opinion on the issue and provided reasons for your stance, which aligns well with the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion frame the essay nicely, setting up the discussion and providing closure.
task achievement
You have touched on a range of relevant points, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
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