Some people think that the education system should only focus on preparing students for employment, while others believe it has other important functions. Discuss both sides and then give your own opinion.
some people believe that the
education
system
is Correct your spelling
meant
ment
for focusing only in preparing
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meant
students
for employment
while
others think that it has other essential functions
.Well, I totally Correct your spelling
agree
agreee
with the second opinion which Correct your spelling
agree
say
that the Change the verb form
says
education
system
have
other Change the verb form
has
functions
to Correct your spelling
focus
foucs
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focus
it's help
a lot Change the verb form
it helps
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of students
students
to improve their hidden Change preposition
of students
intrestings
and can help them in their daily Correct your spelling
interests
life
.
On the one hand,people who believe that Fix the agreement mistake
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education
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the education
system
should Correct your spelling
focus
foucs
on preparing
Correct your spelling
focus
students
for employment
have alot
of reasons.For Correct your spelling
a lot
exsample
,they see that Correct your spelling
example
education
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the education
system
have
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has
alot
of academic information which can Correct your spelling
a lot
helps
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help
students
in their future job
and Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
foucsing
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focusing
in
other fields can affect the main field (the academic field).Change preposition
on
Anotherexample
is that ,Correct your spelling
An example
the
say that Correct your spelling
they
employment
is the most important thing in our life
and that what will make students
live a good life
and few places can prepar
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prepare
students
for employment
in comparision
with other Correct your spelling
comparison
functions
which can be learned any where
.
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anywhere
On the other hand
,there are other people who think that it has other important
functions
and they have a lot of reasons we should think about.First of all,they see that students
need something else that can help them in their daily life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
such
as the
basic skills Correct article usage
apply
for example
thinking skills.Furthermore
,some students
are no
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not
intreasted
in the academic side so making them Correct your spelling
interested
foucs
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focus
in
things they like Change preposition
on
such
as painting and music will help them more because the main thing that the education
system
foucsing on is helping students
.
To coneclude
we can say that,Correct your spelling
conclude
education
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the education
system
is ment
to help Correct your spelling
meant
students
and the best way of helping them is to see what is best for them.Submitted by yousefreyad55 on
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grammar vocabulary
There are several spelling and grammatical inaccuracies. For example, 'agreed' should be spelled 'agree,' and 'field' should be 'fields.' Aim to proofread your essay to minimize such mistakes.
task achievement
The essay provides clear ideas but could benefit from more specific examples, especially on the main points discussed.
task achievement
The introduction can be more engaging and structured. Consider starting with a more general statement about the importance of education in our lives before diving into the debate.
coherence cohesion
Try to make your conclusion stronger by summarizing the main points made in the essay, reinforcing your opinion.
task achievement
The essay does a good job of presenting both sides of the argument. It shows a clear understanding of the topic and has a reasonably balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with paragraphs clearly devoted to discussing each side of the argument.
grammar vocabulary
The writer attempts to use a variety of vocabulary and sentence structures.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.