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Students leave high school without learning the way how to manage their money. What are the reasons and solutions of this issue?

#students #school #money
Today, a number of students
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have graduated high
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
 but do not know the way to manage their
money
. What problems are associated with
this
, and what are some possible solutions? There are two reasons for
this
 question. The first reason is affected by
school
Add an article
the school
show examples
. Nowadays many
schools
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 go back to basics do not focus on
social
Correct article usage
the social
show examples
skills
 of
children
, they are always important to lecture
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 core subjects
such
 as science,
english
Change the capitalization
English
show examples
 and maths.
Besides
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
schools
 think that students do not earn
money
, so they feel unimportant to learn the way how to manage their
money
. Another reason is parental mistakes. Parents work eager beaver to take care of their
children
 without paying attention to
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
children’s
skills
.
This
 problem
causes
Verb problem
is
show examples
 dangerous to the future of their
children
, who can contribute to their country. Many parents can not make head
nor
Correct word choice
or
show examples
 tail of the important social
skills
, they often take a lot of time to earn
money
. There are several actions that could be taken to mitigate the problem mentioned above.
Firstly
,
schools
 should add some extracurricular activities. They can additional
imformations
Correct your spelling
information
 about
children’s
skills
 which are necessary
in
Change the preposition
for
show examples
 the future of their
children
. Many
shools
Correct your spelling
schools
show examples
 need to focus on
professional
Add an article
the professional
show examples
 development of their
children
.
For parents
Change preposition
Parents
show examples
 who often spend a lot of time earning
money
 need to learn the way how to develop
children’s
Correct pronoun usage
their children’s
show examples
skills
.
Besides
, they should be more talk with their
children
. It gives students the chance to improve their social
skills
. In conclusion, there are various factors leading to
be not
Change the verb form
not manage
show examples
manage
Wrong verb form
managing
show examples
children’s
money
 and can be implemented to tackle
this
 issue
Submitted by nguyenhoanganhquan918 on

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task achievement
Work on providing a clearer and more focused thesis statement in the introduction to specify your main points better.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and develops it fully to enhance coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to illustrate your points and make your argument more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Use transition words to link ideas within and between paragraphs for better logical structure.
coherence and cohesion
Work on grammatical accuracy and precision to make your writing clearer and easier to understand.
task achievement
The essay addresses both reasons and solutions to the issue, providing a balanced response.
task achievement
Attempts to focus on both school and parental influences show an understanding of the topic's complexity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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