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Band 0.5

write a complaint about visa follow up by agents descrive the probelm

#complaint #visa #agents #descrive #probelm
Dear Sir/ Madam, I am writing to complain about the bad communication and
follow up
Add a hyphen
follow-up
show examples
 by my file agents,
in addition
 to the poor follow-up for my VISA application. Particularly, when I have paid all my fees to get the visa.
Furthermore
, I have paid for two courses, one for the
ILETS
Correct your spelling
IELTS
 preparation exam and the other for job application preparation. Unfortunately, I got only one course, and the other course never received it. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Kind Regards,Ahmed ALostaz
Submitted by basemhamedd on

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introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are present and clear, but the letter could benefit from a stronger conclusion or closing remark to reinforce the complaint and desired resolution.
relevant specific examples
Try to add more specific details and examples to make your complaint more compelling. For instance, provide dates when the payments were made or mention any attempts to follow up with the agents.
logical structure
Organize the paragraphs more clearly. For example, separate the issues about communication and follow-up from the issues about the courses purchased.
supported main points
Ensure all sentences contribute to the main points and avoid unnecessary repetition. This will improve the overall coherence of the letter.
complete response
Clarify what action you expect from the recipients of your letter. This will enhance the completeness and effectiveness of your response.
complete response
The overall task response is quite good, you have clearly stated the primary issues regarding poor communication and incomplete service.
clear comprehensive ideas
The main points are relatively clear and easy to understand.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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