The two tables below show the statistics of workers of foreign and us birth in the United States last year.

Both of the tables represent information about

laborers

Change the spelling

labourers

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who were born in foreign and US countries in the United States over the span of the year.

Overall

Linking Words

, it can be clearly seen that males have a colossal proportion in

workforce

Add an article

the workforce

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and the eldest generation has the smallest impact on

employment

Correct article usage

the employment

show examples

sphere

Firstly

Linking Words

, in foreign areas, an overwhelming proportion of

working

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the working

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class is males which is 14,385.

Thus

Linking Words

the unemployment rate of men is 8.9 percent which is less than

females’

Correct article usage

the females’

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rate. What is more, the unemployment rate is 15.9

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

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for people aged from 16 to 24, which is the biggest percentage.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, females have a lower ratio in

workforce

Add an article

the workforce

show examples

than males in the US, which is 61,923 in numbers.

In addition

Linking Words

, from 45 to 54

year

Fix the agreement mistake

years

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old people are the most likely to be employed which is 30,242 people and the most willing to be unemployed is the youngest generation which has 18.7

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

dnm.best

Jul 25, 2024

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

155 words

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The two tables below show the statistics of workers of foreign and us birth in the United States last year.

More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Your workplace does not have a carpark, and it is causing some problems. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter Describe the problems this is causing Explain what benefits a car park would bring to the company Suggest a solution for the car park problem