IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The money spent by the governments on space programmes would be better spent on vital public services such as schools and hospitals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In
this
Linking Words
 period of technology, some
people
Use synonyms
 are claiming that the government should spend
money
Use synonyms
 on the educational system and the health industry rather than
space
Use synonyms
 programmes.
This
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 actually makes some sense because many
people
Use synonyms
 have a close connection with the school and hospital;
however
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, they feel like
space
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 programs are none of their business, as society already has a strong image that going outside of the Earth is only allowed for wealthy
people
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. In my opinion, even though there is an acceptable reason for denying, I disagree with
this
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 notion, and my opinion will be discussed in
further
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 paragraphs with a suitable conclusion. Supporting my disagreement with the given statement, I firmly believe that the level of
space
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 technology is a notion of other sectors as well.
This
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 fact might sound weird, but here is the connection. Most countries that do not have strong
space
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 knowledge should spend
money
Use synonyms
 on other environmental factors to make a better country.
However
Linking Words
, if a country has enough financial resources for basic factors, it can
finally
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 use
money
Use synonyms
 for
space
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 technologies. To cite an example, we can easily think of the USA and China for the best
space
Use synonyms
 skills these days. And the truth is, they both have excellent study environments, and
also
Linking Words
 in a medical section.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if a country has fantastic
space
Use synonyms
 programmes, there is a percentage that other countries that lack talent but have
money
Use synonyms
 might give some financial support to become a member of it.
This
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 phenomenon can be explained in one sentence
:
Punctuation problem
:
show examples
 “
Money
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 brings
money
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.” Explaining some of the other supporting points against
this
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 statement, it is true that
space
Use synonyms
 technology is already deeply embedded in deep inside of life of
people
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, GPS

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task response
State a clear view in one line and stick to it. Then give 2 or 3 reasons with small, plain detail. End with a short line that repeats your view.
coherence
Make each part have one main idea. Start with a simple sentence that tells the main point. Use easy linking words to show how ideas go from one to the next.
coherence
Explain each reason with a simple example. Use short, easy sentences. Do not put many ideas in one long sentence.
content
The writer shows a clear view against the statement.
content
The use of examples like USA, China and GPS shows an effort to connect space work with life.
structure
There is an attempt to look at both sides before giving a view.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • governments
  • money
  • public services
  • schools
  • hospitals
  • space programmes
  • vital
  • agree
  • disagree
  • future generations
  • education
  • skilled workforce
  • investing
  • healthcare
  • disease
  • society
  • luxury
  • basic needs
  • scientific knowledge
  • immediate needs
  • prioritizing
  • quality of life
  • well-being
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