Many people say that the only way to guarantee getting a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. How far do you agree or disagree with the above views? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience
Numerous
number of
individuals are sure that the only way to Correct quantifier usage
apply
attend for
a good Verb problem
get
job
is to finish university
Correct pronoun usage
their university
education
course,while
others claim to begin
work
after comleting
school and Correct your spelling
completing
acquire
Wrong verb form
acquiring
experience
in the environment of work
.It is agreed that completing an
Change the article
a
university
education
course increasing
the chances of getting a good Wrong verb form
increases
job
in the future.Analysing the advantages of completing Correct article usage
an academy
academy
course,Replace the word
academic
as well as
a
capability of both gaining practical and theoretical Correct article usage
the
experience
will prove this
.
Firstly
,succesfully
finishing a Correct your spelling
successfully
successful
university
education
is able to provide theoretical knowledge
,critical thinking skills,and specilized
expertise in a specific field.Correct your spelling
specialized
specialised
For instance
,employers often seek candidates with higher education
qualifications for roles that require a deep understanding of the subject matter,such
as engineering,medicine and law.Which
means attending Correct pronoun usage
This
for
a Change preposition
apply
job
understanding
specific Correct word choice
and understanding
knowledge
increasing the chances of accepting in the
interested companies.Correct article usage
apply
Therefore
that makes completing university
Correct article usage
a university
education
can be advantegeous
in securing a good Correct your spelling
advantageous
job
.
Secondly
,a balanced perspective might consider the value of both higher education
and work
expirience
.Correct your spelling
experience
For example
,some students might benefit from internships or a
part-time Remove the article
apply
work
while
studying at university
,thereby gaining practical experience
that complements their academic learning.Which you are uncapable
of getting gaining only practical Correct your spelling
incapable
experience
.That's
means acquiring a Unnecessary verb
That
well-payed
Correct your spelling
well-paid
job
will be much more
easier with both of Change the word
apply
this
Correct determiner usage
these
skils
.
To summarise,students with Correct your spelling
skills
Correct article usage
an academy
academy
Replace the word
academic
education
have more chances of acquiring for
a highly Change preposition
apply
profesional
,capable of Correct your spelling
professional
knowledge
job
,rather than candidates who only know practical matters.It is agreed that completing whole
educational institution Correct article usage
the whole
have
more benefits Change the verb form
has
over
leaving school for practical gain in the world of Change preposition
than
work
.Therefore
it is recommended getting
an educational institution Change the verb form
to get
education
rather acquiring
all the Change preposition
than acquiring
knowledge
in the world of the
Correct article usage
apply
work
.Submitted by mexofors on
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task response
Your essay provides a balanced view but could benefit from more concrete examples to support the arguments. Consider adding specific scenarios or statistics to bolster your main points.
coherence and cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are clear and present, try to ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs. This will help in achieving better logical flow and coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence structure, as there are a few errors that can detract from the overall clarity of your ideas. Proofreading your essay before submission can help catch these mistakes.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction clearly sets up the debate and your position, which is crucial for a well-structured essay.
task response
You've attempted to incorporate a balanced perspective by discussing both the value of university education and work experience, which adds depth to your essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?