IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

A friend of yours is thinking of going on a camping holiday for the first time this summer. He/ She has asked for your advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: Explain why you think your friend would enjoy a camping holiday Describe some possible disadvantages Say whether you would like to go camping with your friend this summer

#friend #holiday #first #time #summer #advice #explain #describe #say
Hey, my dear friend, I hope
this
 letter
find
Change the verb form
finds
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 you well. I was very glad to get your previous letter, in which you asked me about my previous camping holiday. What can I say - I
had
Wrong verb form
have
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 experienced a lot
in
Change preposition
of
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this
 kind of
edvertisement
Correct your spelling
advertisement
advertisements
, and I like it so much. First of all, you have to know that it has cons and pros. The significant part of your holiday you are
outdoor
Replace the word
outdoors
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, excited to see all the beauty of nature, to swim in
a rivers
Correct the article-noun agreement
rivers
a river
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 and
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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lakes, cooking to yourself on an open fire.
This
 kind of rest
give
Change the verb form
gives
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 you the best opportunity to be with your family, and your children would like it so much. It was a part of
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
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.
Furthermore
, there are some disadvantages. All of the pros that
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 wrought in the first part
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 have an opportunity to reverse into the cons.
It
Correct pronoun usage
There
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 would be a lot of nature around you, but neither a supermarket if you need something, nor
hospital
Correct article usage
a hospital
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 if you are not feeling good.
But
Correct word choice
On
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on the other hand
, we are living in
developed
Add an article
a developed
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 country, and there are many hospitals and shops, you just need to have a plan
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
case of unforeseen circumstances.
Moreover
,
me
Change the pronoun
I
show examples
 and my family are very interested to
injoy
Correct your spelling
enjoy
 you in your adventure. If you don't mind, let me know, please. Best regards, Anastassia.
Submitted by anastasia on

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coherence and cohesion
Try to maintain consistency when discussing the pros and cons. For instance, mentioning specific disadvantages directly after discussing the advantages would help in maintaining a clear structure.
task achievement
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy, as the letter has some minor errors. For example, 'edvertisement' should be 'advertisement' and 'injoy' should be 'join'.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is friendly and suitable for addressing a friend, which is perfect for this task.
coherence and cohesion
You provided a balanced view by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages, which ensures a complete response to the prompt.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of the letter is mostly clear, making it easy to follow for readers.

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