Doctor, nurses and teacher make a great contribution to society and should be played more than entertainment and sport celebrity. Do you agree or disagree
Education is the key to success.
Health care
workers and Correct your spelling
Healthcare
teachers
play a vital role in the development of Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
and they should Use synonyms
be motivate
more as compared to actors and Change the verb form
be motivated
fun
industry. I completely agree with Correct article usage
the fun
this
statement. In the upcoming paragraphs, I will describe some points to support my opinion.
First of all, Linking Words
doctors
and nurses are one of the main building blocks of the Use synonyms
society
. Without Use synonyms
them
it will be completely impossible to survive in Add a comma
them,
this
modern and rapidly growing world. They Linking Words
are
Change the verb form
are also considered
also
consider as the national Linking Words
heros
of the country. They should be involved more as compared to actors and Correct your spelling
heroes
hero
sports man
because any country can survive without entertainment industry and sports events but it can not survive without Correct your spelling
sportsmen
doctors
and paramedics.
Use synonyms
Secondly
, Linking Words
teachers
play Use synonyms
very
crucial role in the development of the Add an article
a very
society
. Without Use synonyms
Use synonyms
teachers
nobody can become more successful in their life. It is Add a comma
teachers,
the first step
Linking Words
is
every individual that we Correct your spelling
in
starts
learning from others either from outside or from our home. The person who taught us Change the verb form
start
any thing
is our teacher. They helped all individuals to become what they are now it's either Correct your spelling
anything
doctors
or engineers it's all Use synonyms
due to
the efforts of our Linking Words
teachers
. Without Use synonyms
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
teacher
nobody will help Add a comma
teacher,
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
to gain valuable knowledge to make our Use synonyms
society
more prosperous.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, Linking Words
entertainment
industry and Add an article
the entertainment
sports man
are Correct your spelling
sportsman
also
very important as they provide Linking Words
source
of enjoyment and relaxation to our community through their work. But they all are second to the basic necessity Add an article
a source
to
Change preposition
of
others
fields like health care workers and Correct quantifier usage
other
teachers
In conclusion, individuals working in Use synonyms
health
sector and Add an article
the health
teachers
are very vital for Use synonyms
the
building a developed Correct article usage
apply
society
. Nowadays parents are more inclined Use synonyms
in making
their kids Change preposition
to make
doctors
and Use synonyms
teachers
for Use synonyms
their
better future and more Change the word
a
jobs
opportunities.Change the noun form
job
Submitted by ijazwamiq on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
The introduction is clear but can be made stronger by briefly summarizing the main points that will be discussed.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. For example, mentioning specific contributions made by doctors, nurses, and teachers can strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure and grammar. For example, "is" should be "are" in "it is the first step is every individual." Revise to avoid such errors.
task achievement
Consider addressing possible counterarguments to make your essay more balanced and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
The essay follows a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
logical structure
The main idea is well-stated and your points are logically organized.
task achievement
You have adequately covered the topic and provided a complete response to the task.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.