IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Global warming is one of the biggest threats human face in 21 st century and sea levels are continuing to rise at alarming rates. What problems are associated with this and what are some possible solutions.

#threats #face #st #century #sea #levels #rise #rates
Global warming is one of the most pressing
issue
Change to a plural noun
issues
show examples
facing our planet today,
moreover
,
consequences
Correct article usage
the consequences
show examples
 of a warming
climate
 are becoming increasingly evident, with rising temperatures. In
this
 essay, l will attempt to shed light on the
problems
this
 trend gives rise to
responsible
Correct word choice
apply
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and will propose some rational solutions to overcome
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 challenges. Undoubtedly, there are two obvious
problems
 resulting from air pollution and
climate
 change. First of all,the process by which the Earth is getting hotter,
as a result
 of
greenhouse
effects-
Correct your spelling
effects
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in
particular
Change the word
particularly
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 the increase in carbon footprint in the air.
Besides
 that, more factories
produces
Change the verb form
produce
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 essential needs ,regarding as limitation of a manufacture. It is
also
 worth mentioning that
greenhouse
 gas emissions are growing day by day and ozone layer depletion contributes to
rise
Add an article
the rise
a rise
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 in global warming. Cities have already
detrimined
Correct your spelling
determined
 the
climate
.
For instance
, urban
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
show examples
 more commodities. Factories and cars that produce
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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fumes and smoke,
while
 other countries cut down forests for agricultural lands. Fumes are the massive pollution that
cause
Change the verb form
causes
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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climate
changes
Fix the agreement mistake
change
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. Meanwhile,
climate
 changes can
have
Verb problem
be
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 devastating
on
Change preposition
to
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 communities,causing loss of life, destruction of property and displacement of populations. Rising
in
Change preposition
apply
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temperature
Fix the agreement mistake
temperatures
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 and
percipitation
Correct your spelling
precipitation
 can affect agricultural productivity, leading to food shortages and price spikes. Rising sea levels threaten coastal communities and
infrastruture
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
.
However
,certain actions could be
tackle
Fix the infinitive
to tackle
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 the
problems
 above. First and foremost, investing in renewable
energy
sources
 that
makes
Change the verb form
make
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 to help decrease the carbon footprint. But we had better cease our reliance on fossil fuels, which are
primary
Add an article
the primary
a primary
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 source of
greenhouse
 gas emissions.
This
 can be achieved through policies that promote
energy
 efficiency, encourage the use of renewable
energy
sources
such
 as solar and wind power, and support the development of electric vehicles. These natural
sources
 are all clean
sources
 of
energy
 that do not produce
greenhouse
 gas emissions. By transitioning to these renewable
energy
sources
, we can reduce our reliance on
fodsil
Correct your spelling
fossil
 fuels and decline our carbon footprint. By the way, people find more jobs
within
Change preposition
as
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volunteers and flourishing everywhere that
expanding
Wrong verb form
expands
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 the forests. Governments impose some
restriction
Fix the agreement mistake
restrictions
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about
Change preposition
on
show examples
trafic
Correct your spelling
traffic
 jams
that
Correct word choice
so that
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 citizens
should
Verb problem
can
show examples
 utilize bikes, electric cars and on foot. In a nutshell,
however
 threatening the
problems
 are, they can be resolved or, at least, lessened by taking all the necessary steps to mitigate the issues.
Submitted by Shaxnoza on

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language
Try to avoid minor grammatical errors such as verb agreement and sentence structure. For example, 'urban needs more commodities' should be 'urban areas need more commodities.'
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow between sentences, and ensure each point clearly and logically follows from the previous one. This can be done through better use of linking words and phrases.
task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that you provide specific examples to support your points. The more specific the examples, the stronger your argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses both problems and solutions, making a complete response to the task.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay demonstrates a good understanding of the subject matter, including references to renewable energy and carbon footprints.
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