IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

What are the advantages and disadvantages of leaving your country to live or study abroad? Try to do this under exam conditions — try to avoid looking at any notes you've made while studying this section. Remember, in the exam you'd have about 40 minutes to complete this task.

#country #study #exam #conditions #notes #ve #section #minutes
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Nowadays, many students want to
study
 abroad or live outside
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their original
country
. It is
such
 a good thing, especially if the
country
 can not support or provide
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 needs
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 its citizens. Actually, there is nothing wrong if
people
 want to get a better life and search experience in another
country
. But, obviously, there are some benefits and drawbacks of
this
.
This
 essay will begin with the advantages.
First,
people
 can learn and explore many things
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
overseas.
For example
, a student who
live
Change the verb form
lives
show examples
 in a
develop
Wrong verb form
developed
show examples
country
 will have hardships
to
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in studying
show examples
study
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
subjects like information technology or robotics because the
country
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not have an expert
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
 field. By going abroad, they have a chance to profound and develop their skills. Another example is the origin
country
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
 not open employment for
people
 who
study
 nuclear engineering. By that, they decide to work abroad and
living
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
 there since the
country
match
Correct subject-verb agreement
matches
show examples
with
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apply
show examples
their ability.
However
,
people
 will
facing
Change the verb form
face
be facing
show examples
 problems
due to
 they leave their
country
.
Firstly
, they can go out but maybe not their family.
For instance
, their parents
got
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
 sick and they can not visit them just because they have to stay for a long time or they must go to work.
Then
,
usually
Add a comma
usually,
show examples
 the norms from
initial
Add an article
the initial
an initial
show examples
country
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 totally different
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the
country
 they are aiming for.
To sum up
, even though there are a lot of advantages
by
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to studying
show examples
study
 or
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 abroad,
people
 should consider its disadvantages. If they
found
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
 there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 no issues, they can try to
looking
Change the verb
look
show examples
 for their
lucks
Correct subject-verb agreement
luck
show examples
 in other countries. I recommend
for
Change preposition
that
show examples
people
 who go overseas,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
must still remember where they belong.
Submitted by wishmeluck  on

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coherence cohesion
Work on improving sentence structures to make your points clearer and to enhance readability. Taking time to practice varied sentence forms can make a considerable difference.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that arguments and points are fully explained and logically connected. Sometimes the logic in transitions wasn't very clear, so practice organizing ideas better.
task achievement
Pay attention to grammatical errors and language use. Minor mistakes can sometimes distract the reader and reduce the overall effectiveness of the essay.
task achievement
Try to provide more in-depth analysis or examples for each main point. This would help to substantiate your arguments and improve the clarity of your message.
task achievement
You have made an effort to present both the advantages and disadvantages of living or studying abroad, which shows an attempt at a balanced argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and appropriate introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument well.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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