In many parts of world there is continuos coverage of sport on television. Some people believe this discourages the young from taking part in any sport themselves. Discuss the view and give your own opinion.

#parts #world #continuos #coverage #sport #television #people #part

When we turn on the

television

, there will be news or some live streams of different kinds of

sports

around the

world

. As

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

technology nowadays

are

Change the verb form

show examples

improved, it is easy for many

medias

Correct your spelling

media

show examples

to show

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sports

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

television

through different methods.

For example

, live streams are

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

one of the most common

method

Change to a plural noun

methods

show examples

to show the competition of

sports

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

television

all around the

world

Moreover

sport

Add an article

the sport

show examples

seems to be some hot news or topic to be discussed

nowdays

Correct the word

nowadays

show examples

as well. Just like the

olympics

Change the capitalization

Olympics

show examples

recently, people are excited about it. They will gather around to watch the games together, discussing and cheering for their country.

As to

Correct word choice

show examples

raise the

ammount

Correct your spelling

number

of viewers,

television

channels will tend to podcast

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sports

event

Fix the agreement mistake

events

show examples

. Every

television

channels

Fix the agreement mistake

channel

show examples

got

Verb problem

has

show examples

the copyright of performing the live streams of the game in Hong Kong. Unfortunately,

someone

Correct your spelling

some

show examples

may think it will bring negative effects on young to take the initiative to join the

sports

themselve

Correct your spelling

themselves

. The reason

beind

Correct your spelling

behind

being

may

Correct pronoun usage

this may

show examples

cause of

Verb problem

show examples

their parents. Parents nowadays wish their

children

could win at the starting point by comparing with other kids. Once they

saw

Wrong verb form

see

show examples

the

athlets

Correct your spelling

athletes

having outstanding

performance

Fix the agreement mistake

performances

show examples

in front of the

world

, they will have the same

thought

Fix the agreement mistake

thoughts

show examples

on their

children

As a result

, they will start pushing their kids to join different

sports

, hoping they

could

Wrong verb form

can

show examples

stand on the victory of the

world

This

may

let

Verb problem

make

show examples

children

feel uncomfortable as they do not have the right to choose something they like and

being

Add a missing verb

are being

show examples

forced by their parents.

This

will lower their

initative

Correct your spelling

initiative

and

willing

Replace the word

willingness

show examples

to join

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

themselves. There are still some cases

that

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct pronoun usage

which the

show examples

power of

television

raise

Correct subject-verb agreement

raises

show examples

the younger one's interest in joining the games. As

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

technology nowadays

are

Change the verb form

show examples

well-devloped

Correct your spelling

well-developed

, all kinds of

sports

could

Wrong verb form

can

show examples

be shown

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

television

Children

may

found

Wrong verb form

find

show examples

it is

innovated

Replace the word

innovative

show examples

for them and catch their attention, so they will like to try

themseleves

Correct your spelling

themselves

. Just like some cases in Hong Kong, one athlete in Hong Kong had an outstanding performance in fencing at the

last

Olympic games. After that, there are many

children

are

Correct pronoun usage

who are

show examples

interested in it and would want to join the

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

team for fencing, even some

children

will have a pretend play of fencing in the park. As it could

shown

Change the verb form

be shown

show

show examples

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

, the power of

television

covergae

Correct your spelling

coverage

sports

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

powerful.

Submitted by asllchkied on Fri Jul 26 2024

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coherence and cohesion

Ensure that your ideas are clearly connected to each other, and use cohesive devices to make the flow smoother. For example, linking sentences and paragraphs more effectively would improve the overall coherence.

task achievement

Check spelling, grammar, and word choice more carefully. Phrases like 'amount of viewers' should be 'number of viewers,' and 'themselve' should be 'themselves.' These small errors can be distracting but are easy to fix.

coherence and cohesion

Make your introduction and conclusion more explicit. Right now, the essay starts quite generally, and a clear concluding paragraph is missing. Summarizing your main points at the end would be beneficial.

task achievement

You have provided relevant and specific examples, like the mention of the Olympics and fencing in Hong Kong, which add depth to your essay.

task achievement

Your essay covers both views effectively and provides a balanced discussion. This shows a comprehensive understanding of the task.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
50Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

391 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many parts of world there is continuos coverage of sport on television. Some people believe this discourages the young from taking part in any sport themselves. Discuss the view and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In recent years, more and more people tend to live individually. What are the causes of this trend? Does this have a positive or negative effect on society?

Some people think that the range of technology currently available is increasing the gap between rich people and poor people. Others think that it is causing the opposite effect. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many countries, students leave high school without learning how to manage their money. Why is that the case? What could be done to tackle the issue? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Many university students want to learn about different subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others feel it is important to give all their time and attention to studying for their qualification.

Many governments think that economic progress is the most important goal. Some think that the other type of progress is equally important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.