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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people say that children should go to school as young as possible, while others believe that children should to go school of at least 7 years old. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #school #years
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People have different views about whether
children
 should start
school
 as early as possible or wait until at least age seven.
While
 there are some advantages to
children
 staying at home until the age of seven, I believe that beginning formal education sooner is more beneficial for their future life. On the one hand, it could be argued by some people that starting
school
 after age seven allows
children
 to spend more time with their families, which strengthens the bonds between family members. During
this
 time,
children
 can build intimate relationships with their parents through extended companionship and family activities.
Moreover
, staying home gives
children
 more flexibility in arranging their schedules. Without the structure of
school
, they can focus on specific interests or talents, helping them develop practical skills in fields they are passionate about.
On the other hand
, a different perspective is held by others who believe that the earlier
children
 start
school
, the better their future development. Schools bring together students from various backgrounds, fostering a diverse learning environment that exposes
children
 to different cultures and perspectives, which can broaden their horizons. In my opinion, there are
further
 positive impacts of starting
school
 early to consider.
Firstly
, schools offer a team of professional teachers and a wealth of educational resources,
such
 as well-designed curricula and textbooks, which can deepen
children
’s understanding of theoretical concepts and practical skills.
Additionally
, attending
school
 allows
children
 to interact with peers, promoting their social skills and ability to act in a team. In conclusion, I would argue that the advantages of studying in
school
 as early as possible do outweigh the disadvantages.
Submitted by 18126275033 on

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task achievement
Include some more specific examples or evidence to support the points you are making. This will help strengthen your argument and show a deeper engagement with the topic.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is generally clear and coherent, consider using a wider variety of linking words to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view on the issue, discussing both sides of the argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, clearly highlighting the writer's stance and summarizing the main points effectively.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph logically follows the previous one, maintaining a clear and organized structure throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • critical developmental period
  • foundational skills
  • learning difficulties
  • long-term academic outcomes
  • structured learning environments
  • emotional and social development
  • mental health
  • well-rounded development
  • natural pace of childhood development
  • cognitive and personal growth
  • mature emotionally and socially
  • structured demands
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